Odd (stupid) Uses for Vodka

/ Katybeth

Vodka, One the world’s most popular spirits, goes way back. It is said that as early as the Middle Ages, Vodka has been enjoyed “neat” (straight up).

Vodka also has a long history of use as medicine, having been sold by druggists to cure everything from infertility to colic and the plague. While some of those historic promoters may have had a few to many, it’s true that vodka has a wide range of potential uses.

Household-

  • Shine on: Chrome glass and porcelain fixtures will shine when you moisten a soft, clean cloth with vodka, and wipe them clean.
  • See Clearly: Windowpanes will sparkle when you mix one cup water and one teaspoon vodka in a spray bottle. Spritz on windows and wipe clean with paper towels or microfiber cloth.
  • Fresh Flowers: Add a few drops of vodka and a teaspoon of sugar to the water in your flower vase. Change out the mixture with fresh ingredients daily
  • Got mold? God Mildew?  Fill a recycled spray bottle with some bottom-shelf vodka. Spritz on, then let sit for 15 minutes. Scrub away mold and mildew with an old toothbrush.

Personal-

  • Lush Hair: Try this remedy for healthier, hair: Add a jigger (ounce) of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo.
  • Keep your clothes smelling fresh: Spritz your clothes with Vodka, then hang to dry in a well-ventilated area. Vodka doesn’t leave a scent when dry.
  • Sparkling Spectacles: Clean your eyeglasses by wiping the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka.  The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.
  • Cutting edge: Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
  • Don’t wine: Spray vodka on wine stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.
  • Put the sparkle back in your bling: Measure out one-fourth cup vodka in a shallow drinking glass or bowl. Drop in jewelry and let soak for 5-10 minutes. Rinse and dry. Tip: Do NOT clean pearls, opals and other porous stones via this method.

Lawn and Garden-

  • Weed Killer: With help from the sun’s heat, the alcohol content in vodka destroys unwanted broad-leaf weeds — such as dandelions, chickweed and wild onion — by breaking down their waxy-cuticle coverings. This action dehydrates and dries plants out. Remove weeds by filling a spray bottle with an ounce of vodka, several drops of liquid dish soap, and two cups of water. On a sunny day, spritz weeds with the solution until dripping wet.
  • Use Vodka as an All-Natural Pesticide to keep aphids off of plants. Add four cups water, four teaspoons of dishwashing liquid and four teaspoons vodka in a large spray bottle. Shake well and spritz areas where you spot infestations.

Natural Remedies-

  • Bandage boo-boo:  Remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka, and then drink the rest before pulling off the bandage. You won’t feel a thing.
  • Don’t Drink and Sting:  Vodka kills pesky insects. Pour a little of the saucy spirit in a spray bottle and squirt on the little buggers, or yourself as a repellent.
  • Got Time: Fill a clean jar with freshly picked lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains. Or just take two Alive and call me in the morning.
  • Smelly Feet: To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.
  • Morning Breath: Warning Contains Alcohol. Make your own mouthwash by shaking 9 tablespoons powered cinnamon with 1 cup vodka. Seal in an airtight container for 2 weeks. Strain through a coffee filter. Stir in with warm water and rinse your mouth. (DON’T SWALLOW!).
  • Forget your problems: Its got to be five-o-clock somewhere—Shake, Mix, Stir, Pour down the hatch.

The last word on vodka tips is spewed forth by Joe, who has been gnashing his teeth and turning in his urn the whole time I’ve been typing these.

“What (bleep) moron uses vodka to polish the (bleep) bathroom fixtures? Who comes up with this (bleep)? (Bleep), buy some vinegar and use some water….Don’t clean, gargle , spray it on bugs, wash your hair, soak your razor, or for God sakes wash your feet with vodka.  Just don’t. That is just (bleep) stupid.  Katybeth, ask your mother, she will agree with ME.”

Here is a Vodka Tip-

Chill a stainless steel martini shaker;
Add vodka. Add a lot of vodka.
Add ice.
Shake.
Pour into a cocktail glass.
Add a green olive.
Drink.
Repeat.

Ok, I am just going to publish this list of really stupid uses for vodka so odd readers know they are NOT acceptable ways to use it. By the way, Joe was right, my mother was in complete agreement with him.

Glad you were in my Odd neighborhood. Feel free to hang around with us any time. Odd Loves Company and odd loves you and you and you!! I would love to hear from you in the comment section of this blog, or on Facebook or Twitter

Kb

22 thoughts on “Odd (stupid) Uses for Vodka”

  1. Let me be the first to comment on this oh-so-interesting post.
    Who the heck would waste a perfectly fine bottle of vodka on domestic and/or hygienic endeavors? Drink it before you wash windows. Drink it before you clean your feet. Drink it while you’re killing weeds or arranging your flowers. I’m with Joe and mom on this one.. 😀

  2. There are a lot of crazy people out there….with a lot of crazy ideas..and these tips represent the crazies. I’m with Joe morons.
    Not that I am calling you a moron Katybeth because I am not. I love you for pointing out the era of peoples ways.

  5. Don’t you wonder how they came up with a few of these tips? Vodka for killing weeds for instance. Did someone just throw a glass of vodka on the weeds, watch them die and say AH HA, vodka will kill weeds? Odd, Kb.
    I did kind of like the razor tip, tho. I mean it seems kind of refreshing..just saying….

  6. I love tips. This may be a rather rude question. I am new to your blog, but does uhm Joe often comment on your articles? My aunt said my uncle who died would come by sometimes and comment while she cooked on what he liked and did not like. She just told him to shut-up he liked her cooking fine when he was alive-she said he said it was probably what killed him. Families are strange.
    Looking forward to more tips! 😀
    Jillie

    • Not rude at all, Jillie, Nice to meet you. Joe, comments often enough and I think, I would like your Aunt! Your uncle sounds like Joe….and yes families are ODD.

      Cheers!
      ♥

  8. I am going to try a few of these tips. I really don’t like to drink that much anymore so I don’t mind using the Vodka for cleaning. Many years ago I took a client to Avanzare on St. Claire in Chicago. This was a fabulous five star Northern Italian restaurant. A light lunch for two was a good $60 or more. There was a wonderful dish offered Penne Pasta with Vodka Tomato cream sauce. My client loved the meal! Afterwords I had him sign on the dotted line and I said my goodbyes. I walked back into the kitchen of this five star restaurant feeling empowered by my recent success and asked to speak to the chef who made this dish. To my surprise he was from Poland and he studied food preparation in Northern Italy. He was a very nice man and showed me step by step how to make this wonderful dish. The best was, he took several large gulps of the Stoli Vodka right out of the bottle while he made the sauce! No mistake he could hold his liquor. I drank a lovely Merlot and learned from a pro, then I called a cab and went home smashed and very rich from my visit with this lovely Polish chef, Vodka and my good fortune of closing a huge deal with Quaker Oats.

  9. What a waste of perfectly fine Vodka. I am, however, going to try the one that involves the use of a martini shaker and maybe another one that involves the use of orange juice. Cheers!!

  10. I think we should Absolute(ly) raise a glass to Joe. I wonder if Katybeth would have so many wonderful ODD posts if Joe wasn’t who he was. Strange that people would use Gin or Vodka for cleaning. There are good cheep products for this. Remember what WD-40 can do? 😕

  13. I haven’t had the plague, but I’ve had vodka. Pretty clear connection there.

    Heading to Florida to drink some mojitos in a couple weeks. They keep me from getting polio.

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