Multi-Tasking, Stylish, Hoohaa’s: Let me only say…I really had a tough time with the picture part of this post.
Ever since our conversation the other night I have had noticed more and more the current vagina obsession. I think it started with the Vagina Monologues. I told you I went to see it several years ago. I’m not sure why I went. I thought it was going to be some kind of female rant against humanity. You know, the kind where they talk about the unfairness of things like pantyhose, childbirth and having to carry a purse. Believe me when I tell you I was totally freaked out when I realized it was literally two hours of three women talking about vaginas. It is exactly what the name says it is. When one of the performers said, “Every one of us has taken a hand mirror and looked at our vagina, right?”. I started laughing hysterically because I thought that was the joke. Who in their right mind would want to look at their own vagina. Then I looked around and noticed everyone nodding, including the gay man to my left, and it struck me. They have all done this?! WHY??? and why am I sitting here listening to them talk about it?
Years later I realized that the vagina had become the easy entrance for surgeons. Now not only did babies come out that way but it seemed your gall bladder could too. Then, I guess because I am a woman of a certain age (around 50 or so) I noticed about 10 years ago several of my friends started having all kinds of surgery on their nether regions. It got to where you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting a woman without a uterus. Those who still had the uterus had ovaries removed, fibroids taken out, or had kidney stones blasted apart . . . all through the vag.
In the past five years or so personal grooming in the southern hemisphere became a topic of public conversations. It started with all of the douche products. Floral scented, musk scented, unscented and my personal favorite “Clean” scent. I recently joined Groupon and at least once a week I get an offer for hair removal. Suddenly you could actually style your pubic hair. Men started developing preferences about it. Bikini waxing became much more complicated. There was Brazilian waxing, French waxing, who knows what the difference is? There are women who get it ALL waxed off. A friend of mine who works at a salon told me there is something called “Betty dye“. It is hair dye specifically made for pubic hair. Really!! Now you can not only style your vag hair you can get it dyed to match your panties, that is if you have any left to dye after the waxing.
Last month I almost drove into a ditch when I saw a billboard announcing “vagio-plasty“. It is actually cosmetic surgery on your vagina. My first thought was, “In this economy who can afford plastic surgery?”. My second thought, “You must have a lot of money if you have fixed everything else and are now working on the vag!” I mean really, how pretty does it need to be? I understand nose jobs, liposuction, breast augmentation, face lifts, but a vagina lift? Really? When people get plastic surgery they usually want you to notice. They look younger after their face lift. They look skinnier after their lipo. Their boobs are so perky after the breast augmentation that you almost have to reach out and touch them. I do not want to see the “before” or the “after” shot of the vagina and I certainly don’t want to touch it. I also couldn’t help but wonder how far down in your class of plastic surgeons do you have to graduate to decide on focusing on vagio-plasty. Were all the other parts of the body already spoken for?
Sourced statistics: https://analbleachingguide.com/what-is-penis-lightening/
I am not a prude person however, I am taking a stand against the vagina as part of public conversation. I would like for all women to “put on our big girl panties . . . ” and stop talking about what goes under them!