Emily enjoyed mixed Nut Day with her Southern Il family and friends: “Mixed nuts — just like a family reunion!”
On nut day, I thought I would share a few of my nuttier life moments with you . . .
I spotted a rat in our alley. I don’t feel the need to share why rats terrify me because most Odd readers will understand my fear. If you own and love a rat, you might want to skip this portion of my Odd blog post.
Immediately after spotting the rat, I called a friend who owns apartment buildings in Chicago, and with a sob in my voice, asked for the number of the best rat-killing exterminator he could recommend. He promptly provided the number of a bad ass rat killer, and I wrote the number on the back of Cole’s school directory.
The next morning, I called the exterminator, and when his answering machine answered, I left an emotional message and waited for the immediate return phone call I had requested. Nothing. Several hours later, I called again and left another message, this time trying to sound more mature and rational. Nothing. The third time I called, a man answered the phone. I was so happy to hear a voice on the other end of the line that I immediately and desperately gave my name, explained my rat problem, and gave him what I thought was a compliment: “My friend said you were a really bad ass exterminator, and he was sure you could kill the rat and keep my pups safe.” I requested affordable home pest control services and got and appointment.
And then I stopped and took a breath.
There was silence on the other end of the other end of the line.
Yes? The voice sounded oddly familiar.
This is Brian, Cole’s science teacher. I’m sorry I didn’t call you back, but I wasn’t sure how I could help.
The science teacher who lived to be green?
The science teacher who didn’t use mosquito spray because he didn’t want to harm mosquitos?
The science teacher who rode a bike to school in sub-zero temperatures?
Yep, that science teacher.
When I looked on the back of the school directory, there were two numbers. Obviously I had chosen the wrong one.
I wore a paper bag on my head to our next parent evening.
My friend Daina invited me to a potluck. I was running a little late when I pulled up in front of her house, which I had never been to before. I gathered my chicken wings and wine, and headed for the house, where I could hear party activity going on in the back yard. The porch light was on, and the front door was open. I greeted and patted the family dog on the way to the kitchen and placed my potluck contributions on the counter.
A voice behind me said, “Excuse me, can we help you?”
Startled, I turned to and looked into the faces of an obviously confused couple.
Startled myself, I asked, “Where is Daina?,” in a voice that I’m sure intimated that they had done something with Daina.
The man, with his arm firmly around his wife, answered, “I think the house you want is next door.” I looked out the back door, and sure enough, everyone I knew was gathered in the backyard of the house next door.
“Oops, your right . . . so sorry!” I said as I quickly picked up my wine and chicken wings, and backed out the front door. The worst part was that a party guest who arrived at the same time I did followed me to the neighbor’s house and had taken her bike around to their back yard . . . she was coming up the back steps as I was backing out the front door.
Shortly after the potluck experience, Cole and I went with a group of people to a professional soccer game. Each stadium seat had a cup holder attached to the seat in front of it for drinks. Cole placed his drink in his cup holder, but as luck would have it, my cup holder was broken, so (unbeknown to Cole)I asked the man next to me if I could use his empty cup holder, and he said sure.
We were watching the game when I reached over and took my drink out of the cup holder. I was ready to take a sip, when Cole looked at me in horror and said, “MOM THAT’S NOT YOUR DRINK!”
One the joys of being a little nutty is that your kid is always ready to believe you are capable of almost anything. “Oh honey, I said looking at Cole while I held the drink to my lips, “I don’t think that man will mind if I just take a small sip of his drink.” I then proceeded to guzzle it down. Oh, the look on Cole’s face was nothing short of priceless. I laughed for hours.
Some days do you feel like a nut? Do share. Odd Loves Company!