A few weeks ago I bought a Groupon for 15 B12 shots. I know some people buy a mani/pedi or restaurant Groupon, but not me. I go straight for the shots and say hit me up with 15.
The shots promised to help me curb snacking, but what really caught my attention was that they also promised to give me a surge of energy. When Joe died, my gateway to Adderall died with him, and my energy level has really taken a plunge. Just kidding — at least about the Adderall — but not about the general fatigue, which more than likely comes from not getting enough sleep and surfing Facebook into the wee hours of the morning. However, I could have a B12 deficiency. Some of you may wonder or ask, are the shots safe? Well, of course they’re safe … I got them from Groupon!
The clinic I scheduled my first appointment with was professional enough. The staff was nice and asked me to fill out the same paperwork that any doctor’s office would require. The nurse practitioner asked some basic health history questions, took my blood pressure, and listened to my heart. After she had finished checking me out, she began to explain how to give myself the B12 shots. Give myself a shot? Clearly, I should have read the Groupon fine print. This was news to me.
The nurse must have caught the dismayed look on my face because she quickly explained that it was easy. She said that she would demonstrate how to give the first one, and then I could always watch a YouTube video to review the procedure if I needed too (at that point, I began to think that this is going to make a heck of a blog post).
I must have still looked unconvinced because she then said, with a great deal of authority as she readied the first shot, “After one shot, you will be a pro. It so easy that anyone can do it.” Anyone? Doubtful. I could easily name 25 people on the spot that would not be standing in a clinic, using a Groupon to pick up 15 B12 shots to shoot themselves in the butt with … you’re probably on my list! However, I just smiled and offered her my right check and looked behind me as she demonstrated the process by giving me my first shot.
“Pretend you are playing darts. Make sure you go in fast at a 90-degree angle. Don’t hesitate. Draw the needle back a bit to make sure there isn’t any blood. It is rare that would happen, but if there is, just pull the needle out and try again. Shoot all the solution in and remove the needle. Any questions?”
Only one. What was the best position to give myself the shot since my gluteus maximus muscle is behind me. The answer? Look in a mirror. But of course! The perfect solution. Hold the shot in my right hand, bend forward, look in a mirror, and without hesitating, throw the needle at my butt like it’s a bull’s eye. Got it.
Naturally, I told my sweet mom about my B12 adventure, she didn’t ask me if I had lost my mind, but instead suggested I ask Cole to give me the shot since he is so handy and all. Cole is an option since he is skilled at both archery and darts, but I’m going to give it my best shot first.
I spent a little time with Google and YouTube, and I feel a lot more confident with what I learned.
While it is highly possible I will miss my mark, it is highly unlikely I will hit a major artery and bleed to death.
If at first I don’t succeed at jamming the needle in hard enough, I can reuse the same needle to try again and again.
The thigh muscle works just as well as the gluteus maximus for the shot, which means I will now be able to watch myself jam the needle into my thigh. I consider this a real plus.
Ok. Enough stalling. Here I go. Wish me luck — although I doubt I will need it. If anybody can do this, so can I.
Odd Loves Company!