Cole suggested we visit his grandparents (Joe’s Mom and Dad) at the cemetery and spread some of Joe’s ashes and so we did….taking our good friend Johnny with us (see below)
Four Years Gone, Forever missed…..
~ Gossip was so much fun to share with Joe. I heard some great gossip a few weeks ago and it broke my heart not to be able to share it with him. Joe loved hot, steamy, juicy gossip and would hang on my every word, dissect it from every angle and
badger nudge me to find out more.
~ Cole (my 17 year old son) car failed the emissions test to the tune of over a thousand dollars in car repair bills last week. I missed fighting with Joe over what course of action we would take to get the car fixed before finally agreeing I was right.
~ Being without power sucks, but it sucks less with a partner who is handy with a generator. It would have been fun sharing a candlelit house (and roasting marshmallows!) with Joe after Cole defected from his homeland for a friend’s house that offered lights, internet and television.
~ Cole’s prom. The suit shopping was better left to mother and son, but Joe could have handled the Friday night drive across town in rush hour traffic to buy the right shoes. Admiring the results of our teamwork would have been the best part.
~ After watching a couple of episodes of the show Shameless with Cole, I felt duty bound to tell him that sex really isn’t like that…but hearing it from Joe would have been more believable.
~ Joe and I had clearly defined roles. He procrastinated, and I bugged him to start and finish things. Now I feel obligated to fill both the role of procrastinator and of the person who starts and finish things. It’s a lot of work for one person.
~ I miss weekend barbecues. Joe would ask how I wanted my meat cooked, I would say medium well, Joe would always undercook it, and when I asked him to toss it back on the grill he would insist it was cooked exactly the way I liked it. I’d try arguing, but eventually I learned to wait for the first opportunity to sneak it into the microwave. Sometimes, I would sneak Joe’s steak into the microwave too. After dinner, we would agree that my burger, steak or ribs were cooked to perfection. Joe would smile happily and then mention his meat seemed a little overdone. That was fun.
~ I miss Joe walking into the bedroom after a shower and striking a pose as a waterfall. You had to be there, I suppose.
~ This past week I have been organizing our digital pictures and found one of Joe that included Cole and one of Cole’s teachers. She was especially fond of Joe, so I e-mailed her the picture. She immediately e-mailed me a thank you: “I am so grateful to you for sending this. I love to see Cole at school and he is always so sweet, open and loving—exactly like his dad.” Sometimes, Joe still gets the last word.
On today, Joe’s death anniversary, what I miss most about not having him with us is being able to share this picture of Cole on his service learning trip at Camphill Village Kimberton Hills, Penn.—a community that empowers the mentally disabled. Joe’s feelings would have matched mine when he looked at the picture: Love beyond the beyond.
Cole: Mom, I miss Dad every day. Do you?
Kb: For better, for worse and always for you.
No resting in peace for you, Joe Ruscitti. We have a boy who will be a senior in a week, and I’m not going through this year of lasts without you! I plan to spread your ashes every step of the way.