Do You Still Miss Joe?

by Katybeth Jensen on September 2, 2010

Do you still miss Joe?” This question hurt. I took a deep breath and answered, “All the time.”

“Oh, well, you seem fine.”

I miss Joe. Cole misses his dad. We are fine. We travel onward while missing Joe; resisting, staying stuck at the “missing Joe” portion of the journey. We feed memories, good and bad, to the empty “missing Joe” hole in our lives.

A friend and talented photographer gave Cole and me a photography session. It was a wonderful gift until I remembered I don’t take good pictures and promptly had a closet crisis. While cleaning our bookshelf, I found a casual family picture of Joe, Cole and me. Staring at the three of us, suddenly the idea of a family picture without Joe overwhelmed me. After more than a few moments of overwhelm and one cancellation, I reframed my idea of our family picture. I focused, instead, on the mother and son part of our family, reminding myself that Joe would be with us in spirit, telling me not to smile so big and directing Cole to “just act natural.”  Missing Joe isn’t a stopping place.

On Monday, I went to a parent potluck at Cole’s school, marking the beginning of Cole’s life as a high-schooler. I searched for the house, trying to use the light from my cell phone to see the house numbers. I missed Joe ranting about how dark it is in Evanston. Finally finding the house, I used my cell phone to guide myself up the darkened porch, and apologized to the hostess for being late. I explained about my trouble finding the house. The hostess responded, “Oh, I never remember to turn the porch light on.” Really. I missed the look and mumbled words Joe would have sent her direction, while I would mutter, “Stop it!” and die from embarrassment. Joe and the hostess would have later bonded over a beer. During the evening, Joe would have made it a point “to know where everyone was from” because, of course, “where you are from” explains everything. On the way home, Joe would have been full of this and that’s, and I would have shared the gossip he missed. I arrived and left alone.  I cried. I missed him.

Cole misses his dad’s overblown pride in his achievements. He worries about forgetting his dad. This summer, he found his dad’s old bike in our garage loft. He decided to restore the bike himself. It was important. He found the parts he needed, questioned prices, asked about less expensive options, added new brakes and tires, and made bike adjustments. He then took his first test ride. Cole met the emptiness of missing his dad by restoring his old bike. The bike suits Cole. I have no doubt that Joe found a way to bring the bike to Cole’s attention.

Joey songs will play when he wants our attention. These are songs he played over and over when he was with us in more than in spirit.  In Alaska, the first song Cole and I heard was John Lennon’s Imagine, the song we played at Joe’s memorial. When I was getting ready for our photo session and praying for rain, I turned on the radio and the song “Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head” came on.  Joe would pitter patter on my head while singing, “Raindrops Keep falling on my head.”  It was his attempt to lighten my mood when I found him annoying. “Knocking on Heaven’s Door,” a song Joe loved and I hated, blasted out of my radio on my way home from the potluck.

A client told me tonight that she just took her daughter to college, and now she really understands how much I miss Joe. Nodding, I smile. She doesn’t. I’m so glad.

I fixed a root beer float, grabbed my computer, and headed outside to sit and enjoy my pups. A Facebook friend shared the song, “The Big Rock Candy Mountains.”  Listening, I remembered how Joe had sung that song to Cole, and how he would whistle it often.

A quote popped into my head, “If I never met you, I wouldn’t like you. If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t love you. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.”

Hi Joe.

Really? You miss me?

Yeah, Joe. I miss you. Really.

Katybeth, I miss you too.

And then I played “Big Rock Candy Mountain.”

{ 16 comments }

Facebook! Are You Addicted?

by Katybeth Jensen on September 2, 2010

You might be spending too much time on Facebook if…

  • You click this button and allow Jimmiesixbellies to generate a Facebook status for you and then copy and past it into your profile.
  • Instead of working, you are generating interesting Facebook status message’s.
  • While approaching green lights you slow down, so the light will turn red, and you’ll have time to update your Facebook status.
  • You don’t understand the rush to GO at green lights.
  • You quickly hide your Facebook page when a family member comes in the room and deny being on Facebook. AGAIN!
  • You argue with your kid over how long he has been on the computer(knowing you  have been on longer). Have NOT. Have TO!
  • Friends who only check their Facebook once an hour, make you angry.
  • Friends who only check their Facebook once a month, enrage you.
  • You refuse to speak to people who aren’t your friend on Facebook.
  • Facebook is your main source of information (who needs real news)
  • If your Facebook isn’t working, you call someone to ask if their’s is. Only to find out that Facebook is down. In the future People will say…. “Remember the day Facebook crashed?” T-shirts slogans will read  ”I survived the Facebook outage.”
  • While attending your child’s school performance, you update your Facebook status. Hiding your phone under your coat.
  • Your family says, don’t put “THAT” on Facebook.
  • When Facebook makes changes it ticks you off, a few hours later you get used to the change and become annoyed by those who insist on criticizing the change.
  • When you look through your pictures on your camera, you already know what captions to put underneath them.

Would write more…but haven’t updated in awhile…”Katybeth feels somewhat underwhelmed by indecorous toenails…..”

Share the signs of addiction you see in your family members….we are here to help!

Glad you were in my Odd neighborhood. Feel free to hang around with us any time. Odd Loves Company and odd loves you and you and you!! I would love to hear from you in the comment section of this blog, or on Facebook or Twitter!

{ 12 comments }

Human Years,Dog Years,Time Marches On

by Katybeth Jensen on August 31, 2010

This was then…..Cole and Daphne, September 2003

This is now…Cole and Daphne, September 2010

Daphne is a Happy Camper at Camp-Run-A- Pup
Cole belongs to ME.

{ 20 comments }

Life Explained-Cherokee Story

August 30, 2010

TWO WOLVES One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. “One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. “The [...]

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Gut Feelings–Our Inner Compass.

August 29, 2010

Monday, I had a dental appointment to have a root canal.  This was my first visit to this dentist, but since almost all of my dental experiences have been positive, I expected the best. Walking into the office, a sign greeted me that read, “Turn off Cell Phones. No Food or Drinks.” The receptionist did [...]

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Odd Tips! Entertaining myself at 2:47am

August 28, 2010

Odd Tips. I can’t sleep. I might as well do something. What? I know! I will find odd tips and have conversations with them. .. Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to. Raise you hand if you [...]

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Tattoo talk. What do you think?

August 26, 2010

Tattoos.  My Uncle Mike was in the Marine Corps. He has a dragon tattoo on his arm.  For many Marines, getting a tattoo was a rite of passage. They commonly got their forearms inscribed to remember fallen comrades, combat tours, or loved ones, and often ask for exotic designs that incorporate the Marine motto, Semper Fi, [...]

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Presents! I love presents, don’t you?

August 25, 2010

I love presents. Maybe you shouldn’t have, but I am so delighted you did! Cole loves presents.  He tears off the wrapping paper, disregards the bow, and rips open the box.  A squeal of delight and a big hug follows.  It’s never been about, “Did you bring me a present?”  It’s all about, “Oh WOW!  [...]

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Rumor Rows Her Boat

August 23, 2010

This is a picture of Rumor, one of my mom’s doberman’s taking her boat for a spin around the pool. Rumor’s picture  was a finalist in a contest. We didn’t win but we came close. I’m from Chicago, there is always next time. . .! Odd Loves Company Marcie’s Doberman Diva’s

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Rocky our Ice Cream Scoop~Needs Good Home!

August 20, 2010

I bought a new Ice Cream Scoop. His name is Scoop. This is Rocky, our old ice Cream Scoop Rocky, is a perfectly fine Ice Cream Scoop; for many years he has served us ice cream without complaint. Don’t worry, we won’t make Rocky hit the road. We invited him to live out his retirement [...]

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