Would you want just One More Day with the one you had loved? Or is one Goodbye more than enough for you? I asked a rather silly question on my Odd Facebook page the other day: “What do I want for my birthday? My mother wants to know.” Most of the comments were pretty much … Continue reading One More Day With Joe?
Cole’s graduation from 8th grade is in 25 days. The anniversary of Joe’s death is in 15 days. On our entertainment center is a large picture of Joe that we had blown up for his memorial, his cremation urn, a picture Cole drew, and some other meaningful Joe items. On occasion, I add and subtract … Continue reading Rocking Memories Forever
“Mom, it’s awful knowing I will be this sad again.” Profound thoughts from my fourteen-year-old. One of the worst parts of grief is knowing you will go through it again. Going through the grieving process again might be a bearable thought if there was any indication I would be better at it the next time … Continue reading Grief ~ Pinkie Swear You will Live Forever.
Recently someone posted the following comment on my blog post: “How do you bounce from a blog post like “Over is Hard” to “Super Bowl Sandwiches? I can never tell if you are happy or if you are sad. Are you ok or not ok?” It’s an interesting comment and something I sometimes wonder about, too. How can Cole … Continue reading Happy or Sad-Grief Bounces
"Dad is over for the rest of my life, mom, and I am only 13." The feeling that nothing will ever be okay again has begun to wear on us. The world feels tasteless. It’s Over, the tasteless color of grief. As a mother, everything I think of to say has become a thought-terminating cliché. There … Continue reading Over Is Hard
(Click to play Video) Music. Up until Joe died, I mostly ignored it or turned it off. I had no idea music could suck me up, spin me around, shake me up, and dump me on my head. Who knew? Well obviously, not I. Joe enjoyed all kinds of music ranging from Sara Brightman to … Continue reading Music the Sounds Of Sorrow
I just had words with Joe as I ran upstairs and downstairs with a plunger. “JOE! I did not plan to try to manage hearth, home, high school applications, and hounds without you!” “I know,” he answered. “I planned for you to be around so everything that never got done, did not work or was … Continue reading Grief is Not Having a Spouse to Blame
Neighborhood Coyotes. I woke up in a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mood. The anticipated snow day did not happen, yet there was enough snow to make everything harder. The trip to school was slow and slippery, and my 13 year-old passenger's mood matched mine. After my school run, I tried to come up … Continue reading Coyotes Lifted My Spirts
Don't Be Sad.... A friend commented the other day about how well Cole and I seemed to be doing, and asked me what I thought contributed the most to our wellbeing. The answer, I think, is that we are moving through the grief process our way. “Our way” has always been an important value in … Continue reading Don’t Be Sad, Be Less Sad
Joe died on June 2nd, and Cole and I "got" different. My thirteen-year-old now judges how bad things really are against June 2nd, 2009. When faced with a disappointment, he says, "It’s really not that big a deal," knowing it really isn’t. An odd moment for me was this realization: As parents, we know the … Continue reading We Got Different