~★~♥~♥~★~ El Morno! ♥~★~★~♥ ~
August 16, 2012

★~ Today’s Quote: Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.  Steven Wright

★~ Today is Joe Miller’s Joke Day:

Joe Miller was an English comic actor during the early 18th century. And on his birthday, it is customary to tell a stale or worn out joke in his honor. From Joe Miller’s Jests, London, 1739: “A melting Sermon being preached in a country Church, all fell a weeping but one Man, who being asked, why he did not weep with the rest? O! said he. I belong to another Parish.”  Now it’s your turn.

★~Bratwurst Day: 

If every dog has its day, then it should come as no surprise that there’s a day dedicated to the celebration of the bratwurst. The name of this savory sausage is the compound form of two German words — brat which means “fry” and wurst which means “sausage.” Bratwurst originated in Germany and has been around since the fourteenth century.

I tried to find a Bratwurst joke but came up empty handed. I then googled sausage jokes and was so sorry I went down that search road. I did not come up with a suitable joke, but I did come up with a rather Odd Bratwurst news story:

Woman Assaulted With Bratwurst:

An argument between two women in Des Moines, Iowa, involved an assault with a bratwurst. The police report says 63-year-old Connie Jones got into an altercation with 31-year-old Tajuana Banks at Jones’ home over the childcare of Jones’ grandchildren. Apparently, Banks tried to incite a fight by yelling at Jones, and ultimately hit her with the sausage. Police noted the grease stains on Jones’ clothing as evidence. Banks was arrested on a simple assault charge.

★~ Rum Day:

Beer pairs better with Brats but what can I see the holiday gods have deemed today “National Rum. So quench your thirst and partake in this sweet Caribbean spirit today. Made by distilling the byproducts of molasses and sugarcane, rum ends up the strong, silent type on the scale of alcoholic beverages.
The origins of the name “rum” are unclear and often disputed, but one thing everyone can agree on is that rum discovered its birthright on Caribbean sugarcane plantations in the 1600s. It soon became a favorite of pirates and the Navy; thirsty American colonials and the rest of the world soon followed.

Celebrate today by taking a swig of the grog right from the bottle or enjoy a little rum in a piña colada, Mojito, daiquiri, Mai Tai or a fruity punch.  You could even enjoy a dash of the good stuff in your Bananas Foster or other recipes with a bit of an edge. Now get out there and have a little summer rum!

★~ Today in History:

♥~ 1829 – The first Siamese twins brought to the United States arrived in Boston, MA. Chang and Eng (Bunker) were 18 years old when they arrived from their homeland of Banesau, Siam. The twins were joined at the waist.

♥~1960 – A world record for a successful free fall was set by Colonel Joseph W. Kittinger Jr. What Kittinger did was quite amazing. He dropped from an altitude of 102,800 feet, more than 19 miles, before opening his parachute — at 17,500 feet — over New Mexico.

♥~ 1977- Elvis Presley, singer died at Graceland Mansion in Memphis, Tenn., at age 42. Elvis had an unprecedented 107 hits on the pop music charts and an unprecedented number of fans. His first hit was Heartbreak Hotel in 1956 and his last, one of two RCA hits released after his death, was Guitar Man in 1981. Presley had 28 gold records, 12 number one songs and 38 top-ten hits.

♥~ 1984 – Janet Harris set a world record in Selsey, England, by eating 7,175 green peas in an hour—one at a time, using chopsticks.

♥~ 1999 – Former town manager Leon Wurl became part of the new Main Street in Erie, Colorado, when his wife poured some of his ashes into the hot asphalt. Wurl had led the push to re-pave 14 of Erie’s streets before his death a year earlier.

♥~ 2002 –  Scientists at the University of Glasgow in Scotland published research validating the so-called “beer goggles” effect. In their study of 120 male and female students, those who had drunk a moderate amount of alcohol found the faces of the opposite sex 25% more attractive than their sober counterparts.

★~ Born Today:

♥~ 1930 – Frank Gifford College/Pro Football Hall of Famer: USC, New York Giants; broadcaster: Monday Night Football; husband of Kathie Lee Gifford

♥~ 1953 – Kathie Lee Gifford (Kathryn Lee Epstein) talk show host: Live! With Regis and Kathie Lee, Today; singer; married to Frank Gifford

♥~ 1958 – Angela Bassett actress: Waiting to Exhale, FX, What’s Love Got to Do with It?, Malcolm X, Boyz N the Hood

♥~1958 – Madonna (Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone) singer: Material Girl, Like a Virgin; actress: Dick Tracy, Desperately Seeking Susan, Shanghai Surprise, A League of Their Own

♥~ 1968 –  Andy Milder, Actor (“Weeds”)

★~ Did You Know: About these cool shark products? 

♥~ Attack your pizza with a shark pizza cutter!

♥~ Cool your Drinks with a shark ice cubes! Down the hatch….

♥~ Shark Stelletos want to step out….(could not find the link)

♥~ Sharkcraft.… oneth by land…twoeth by shark…

♥~ Shark oven mitts…just say why not.

♥~ For the tasteless...Shark Swimsuit

♥~ For the tea lover….Sharky the Tea Infuser.

♥~ Plush Shark Hat – Blue Tie-Dye (Yes really!)

♥~ Shark Socks– FUN.

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I never saw the movies Jaws. I never wanted to see the movie Jaws. And while we are on the subject of movies, I might as well admit, I’ve never seen The Exorcist, any of the Godfather movies, a horror film of any kind, or Pulp Fiction. Got the picture? Last year I ignored shark week completely because I knew there were images and video that were best left for other peoples’ viewing pleasure. However, this year I thought I would bravely embrace the lighter side of shark week and share some facts, funny pictures, a joke or two, and that cool shark cam where the shark dines off camera. However, El Morno friend Cynthia posted this link last night on my Facebook page, and knowing her fear of what lurks in the deep, blue sea, I thought the video would be mild. I was wrong. It was terrifying! I’m not against sharks, and certainly don’t want them hunted or to become extinct — I’d just prefer not to look straight into their toothy grins or watch them dine on a dolphin dinner in slow motion. They are awesome creatures and scientific studies claim they don’t like the taste of humans and prefer to keep their distance from humans. This may be true, but you have to wonder whether the shark read that part of the scientific study!  In any case, after watching the video, it was hard to shake the shark images from my overzealous imagination. I had finally almost fallen asleep when I woke up with a start and looked up at my ceiling and saw this image:

I’m now typing on my computer from under my bed. Between Ping-Pong’s untimely death, Cynthia’s video, and the shark fin on my ceiling, I have had enough of fish for one week. I am declaring Shark Week OVER!

So…What’s new with you? Perhaps you have a joke you like to share?

Q: What did the young shark get for Christmas?
A: Nothing! Sharks don’t celebrate Christmas!!!!!!!

DONE! No more sharks….