Leak free! Read Fast!

Yep. Our house is leak free for the first time in months. The kitchen sink isn’t leaking, the toilet isn’t leaking, and water isn’t leaking into the basement. Our Thanksgiving guests will not have to sprint upstairs to use the bathroom, and we won’t have to empty water pans under the sink during the Thanksgiving prep work.

These problems have not been ignored for the last five months, but the more pressing matter of water leaking into our basement at an alarming rate became our top priority. Sealing the basement, cold weather, and the proper use of reusable sandbags offer a temporary fix until winter starts to thaw the snow, and the rain starts to fall in the spring. If it is a very long, cold winter, blame me—God is answering my prayers.

Toilets are not near as straight forward as they look. If the flanges are too high or too low or don’t line up properly, they will leak. If they aren’t caulked properly, they will leak. Sometimes I’m convinced they leak just because they want to give you shit. We hired professionals, we watched YouTube videos, and I even asked for advice on Facebook, all to no avail. Finally, in frustration, I turned the damn thing off and duct-taped the lid shut. We used the bathroom upstairs. Our battle cry was“Oo ah ee, I’ve gotta pee.” as we made a mad dash up the stairs. No, we did not sing out “walla walla bing bang” when the deed was done. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than facing another plumbing failure. Expert service and advice are provided at http://atlantawaterdamagepro.com/signs-of-residential-mold/.

The sink leak was due to a faulty faucet. I was told that replacing the faucet was much more complicated and expensive than just a quick run to Home Depot. I keep a household priority list, and the sink was lower on the list than the toilet. However, both the kitchen sink and the toilet had to be in working order by the time we hosted Thanksgiving. To be successful in life, one must have goals.

The fall arrived, bringing Bubba and Wayne, the Roto-Rooters, to our door. When they were done, I asked them for the name of a good plumber. I already had plenty of names of bad plumbers. They referred me to Johnny, a good ol’ plumber from South Carolina.

Johnny showed up in the middle of October, looked around, and muttered out some suggestions in a slow Southern drawl. I couldn’t understand a word he said, but I hired him because he showed up with his own flashlight. He shook the toilet and measured the faucet and said to call him in the first week of November.

Sorry, Ohio* I’m going to fast forward a bit. Johnny finally fit us into his schedule this week and showed up on Wednesday. He looked around when he arrived and wondered if he had ever been to my house before. I wondered about his other customers. When you come to my front door, it sounds like a pack of wolves are ready to tear you apart. When I open the front door, you are greeted by a women wielding a fly swatter and saying “quiet” in a deadly voice while her Jack Russell greets you with some very personal sniffing. I reintroduced him to the toilet and the kitchen sink.

One hour later, the toilet was fixed, but he told me we would have to wait until the next day to have a grand opening. We began planning the appetizer menu immediately. Next, he said he had a faucet for me and would come back and install it. I am delighted to report that the toilet grand opening was a success. No leak. Praise be.

On Friday, Johnny knocked on the door with my new faucet. He doesn’t call; he just shows up. I like this about Johnny. Most of the time, when I request the pleasure of a plumbers company, they call but never show up. Two hours later, the faucet was replaced. Vickie (friend and camp helper) if you are reading this, prepared to get excited. The new faucet has a long spray hose to clean dog-food bowls with! We are so up-town.

Let’s recap: working downstairs toilet, kitchen sink with a new faucet that doesn’t leak, and a basement that is boasting 25 percent humidity. The only thing overflowing in our house right now is gratitude!

Odd Loves Company,

*If you are new to Odd, you may not understand this reference. It refers to a  lengthy, highly scientific, well-funded study conducted by me, my sweet mother and a few others, who have determined that people from Ohio are blessed with the gift of being able to talk longer without ever reaching a point (any point)  than people from any other state, country or planet. And we love them dearly for it.