Joe and I were married nine years ago today (December 23rd). As I mentioned in a previous post, our wedding was a celebration of “Done.” We acknowledged with family and friends what we already knew: We were meant to be together for better and for worse.

Neither of us were naturals at being married. We knew forever-after was hard work. We knew we were two very different people who never really minded living alone, and never really went out of our way to “find that special one.”

Joe and I were soul mates. Being someone’s soul mate is hard work. We were together for a reason, but the reason was sometimes very murky. We believed our relationship was often so difficult because fate chose for us to be together. We fought hard to choose each other, often questioning fate’s decision. When you are someone soul mating quitting is not an option, it is sometimes a desire. Loving each other from the moment we met did not make things easier. Loving Cole together without hesitation gave us a reason for being together, but not always the rhyme.

I feel the same connection to Joe now that I felt to him when he was on earth. I struggle with the idea that our work together might be drawing to a close. Our relationship might shift, and for a while, Joe and I will travel on different paths. I also know our journeys will often intersect. I trust Joe to travel with Cole, helping him manage his teen years with love, insight and humor.

Are you wondering if Joe sent a sign on our anniversary? Joe and I never exchanged gifts on our anniversary. Heck, we often forgot it was our anniversary! Today, I bought my obligatory, almost-daily Starbucks. When it was my turn to order and pay for my drink, the cashier informed me that my Venti coffee and Cole’s Mocha Frappuccino had already been paid for. She pointed to a man leaving the store wearing a hat and a brown bomber jacket.

The message: “My treat.” Where do you suppose Joe and I went on out first date?Happy Anniversary, Joe.

The coffee was a perfect toast to nine years.

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