Limerick Contributions by My Odd Family!


Thank you to all my Odd family Members who contributed to Odd’s collection of Limericks in honor of Edward Lear’s Birthday.

There once was a doggie named Melle
She was truly the canine from hell
She ruined the house and the yard
and would bite everyone in sight
What became of her I simply won’t tell.
~ Marcie Jensen

There once was a lad from old Erin
Who didn’t take care of the shorts he was wearin
He ripped a hole in the seat, the boys came out to greet
And he sent all the ladies atearin’
~Jill Campanozz1

We sit in Chicago in May
Watching Spring as it comes out to say
“You’ll forget about snow,
And the Twenty below…
When humidity checks in and…stays,
~Hawk Durham

Once a woman decides on a guy
He’d better just give up and sigh
For the road to perdition
Is his full price admission
Unless God takes him up in the sky
~Hawk Durham

Said the kilt wearing husband of Phyllis,
I think I know just what this pill is…
Viagra works neat!
So she jumps off her seat!
And said, “Whatchoo talkin’ bout Willis!
~Hawk Durham

A cave in the deep Himalayas
Was the home to a Zen dude by daya
But by night he rocked on
With the girls from Bayonne
Now his robes are embossed with “Da Playa”
~Hawk Durham

There once was a bank, name of Chase
They lied while they laughed in your face
Their automated calls I hate
Can’t get a good interest rate
Too bad all my monies in that place!
~Cousin Carla

Couldn’t wait to get an iPhone, shiny and new
Can’t believe all the things it can do
They get you hooked on their apps
Books, games, camera and maps
Now if I could just get a call to go through
~Cousin Carla

Oh how time passes so fast
Don’t blink because nothing will last
You think they’ll always be small
But they grow up so tall
Hopefully all the good times aren’t past.
~Cousin Carla

My God how I hate the beach and the sand
The sun, the fishermen and the slope of the land
The waves salty, the sun hot
The oils smell good but they’re not
And the seagulls overhead shit where you stand
~Cousin Carla

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and whey,
when along came a spider,
who crawled up inside her,
and now, she giggles all day!
~ Meira Frankl

Mary had a little sheep,
and with the sheep, she went to sleep.
Sheep turned out to be a ram,
so Mary had a little lamb!
~ Meira Frankl

I would love it if you would contribute an original or favorite Limerick to our Odd library of limericks!


33 thoughts on “Limerick Contributions by My Odd Family!

  1. Love these Limericks. You need to write an Odd book of Limericks! So funny. Wish I could contribute but my lines never rhyme.

  2. These are so great. I wish I was poetically gifted or bent–not exactly sure which these would follow under. Can you do it again?

    Have a great day!

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  4. Excellent limericks! Wish I had the talent to write anything poetic or rhyming, so instead I’ll just have to enjoy what everyone else offers.

    • Antoinette was very neat,
      from her head unto her feet,
      She likes her sweets and music too,
      but most of all she likes her facebook crew!

  5. There once was a woman named Nancy
    her bed and linens were fancy.
    She laid in her bed, and took all her med’s
    until she was very antsy!

  6. There once was a man with a kilt.
    Who wore no undies with silk.
    His passion it seems was to fly with his dreams,
    and his heart had a bit of a lilt.

  7. There once was a creep named bin Laden
    Who was evil disgusting and rotten.
    The Navy Seals found him,
    And with one bullet downed him,
    Now America’s avenged and applaudin’.

  8. There once was a girl named Lindsay
    Who drank and did drugs with a frenzy.
    She stole a necklace then claimed,
    She couldn’t be blamed,
    But the judge thought her story was flimsy.

    Happy Limerick Day!

  9. Katybeth did not like to cook.
    She hid a Coke in every nook.
    She liked her chips and candy too
    she likes the ponies and the books
    and no she never was a crook!

    • Did you ever have to leave your pup?
      And wonder if he was safe & stuff?
      Try this camp to ease your fears.
      Camp-run-a-pup isn’t gruff or mean,
      It’s run by a Mom and a teen.

  10. There once was a lady named Katy
    Who wrote “El Morno” on her Facebook page daily
    With a Starbucks in her hand
    She says isn’t life grand
    And we get to read about her “Odd Family”

    • A woman who’s last name was Newell
      Considered by most a beautiful jewel
      Was not very old and loved rock and roll
      And her daughter just graduated from school

      (and one for TCN)

  11. There once was a boy named Cole
    His hair he had stole off a troll
    It was, curly and wild
    On his head it was piled
    His hairdresser just couldn’t make parole!

    (with coaching surrounded by inspiration—I am catching on…..)

  12. There was a developer named Trump
    Who’s ego was in need of a bump
    So he jumped in the fray, had his ridiculous say
    And in the end was exposed as a chump.

  13. There once was an Uncle named Jed
    And a hillbilly family he led.
    He shot in a ditch, oil made him rich
    Old Jed was a “somna” bitch.

    (in reference to a Beverley Hillbillies thread…)

    • There once was a governor named Rod
      Who thought he was a Tsar or a God
      When the Feds made their case
      You’d think he’d lose face
      But he keeps babbling on ..what a fraud.

  14. There once was a lady named Jensen
    Who was not related to Jim Henson
    But on facebook anyway
    She entertained us each day
    And rid us of all of our tension!

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  16. Marcie Jensen what a treasure,
    took on ballet with all it’s pleasure.
    With grace and ease an Arabeque
    moved onto Dressage to Pirouette,
    a master at a trot and canter,
    she awed her fans with pure delight, in her day she was a sight!
    Even now she works and trains, to lead her trinkett onto fame!

    Too long for a limerick but I couldn’t leave out the dog training!

  17. A woman who I like to call KB
    Says “Yes!” or “No!”, rarely “Maybe. . .”
    So if you are game
    Give her the same
    ’cause that is the fun, yeah baby!

  18. Some great work and words you have posted, With limericks and rhymes you are the mostess, I could not resist to be part of this list, thank you KB our Hostess.

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