Thank you to all my Odd family Members who contributed to Odd’s collection of Limericks in honor of Edward Lear’s Birthday.
There once was a doggie named Melle
She was truly the canine from hell
She ruined the house and the yard
and would bite everyone in sight
What became of her I simply won’t tell.
~ Marcie Jensen
There once was a lad from old Erin
Who didn’t take care of the shorts he was wearin
He ripped a hole in the seat, the boys came out to greet
And he sent all the ladies atearin’
We sit in Chicago in May
Watching Spring as it comes out to say
“You’ll forget about snow,
And the Twenty below…
When humidity checks in and…stays,
Once a woman decides on a guy
He’d better just give up and sigh
For the road to perdition
Is his full price admission
Unless God takes him up in the sky
Said the kilt wearing husband of Phyllis,
I think I know just what this pill is…
Viagra works neat!
So she jumps off her seat!
And said, “Whatchoo talkin’ bout Willis!
A cave in the deep Himalayas
Was the home to a Zen dude by daya
But by night he rocked on
With the girls from Bayonne
Now his robes are embossed with “Da Playa”
There once was a bank, name of Chase
They lied while they laughed in your face
Their automated calls I hate
Can’t get a good interest rate
Too bad all my monies in that place!
Couldn’t wait to get an iPhone, shiny and new
Can’t believe all the things it can do
They get you hooked on their apps
Books, games, camera and maps
Now if I could just get a call to go through
Oh how time passes so fast
Don’t blink because nothing will last
You think they’ll always be small
But they grow up so tall
Hopefully all the good times aren’t past.
My God how I hate the beach and the sand
The sun, the fishermen and the slope of the land
The waves salty, the sun hot
The oils smell good but they’re not
And the seagulls overhead shit where you stand
Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and whey,
when along came a spider,
who crawled up inside her,
and now, she giggles all day!
~ Meira Frankl
Mary had a little sheep,
and with the sheep, she went to sleep.
Sheep turned out to be a ram,
so Mary had a little lamb!
~ Meira Frankl
I would love it if you would contribute an original or favorite Limerick to our Odd library of limericks!