~★~♥~♥~★~ El Morno! ♥~★~★~♥ ~
August 18, 2012

★~ Today’s Quote: “To create more positive results in your life, replace ‘if only’ with ‘next time’.” ~ Unknown

★~ Bad Poetry Day:

Not everyone can be a Frost or a Dickinson or a Whitman or Hawk. Bad poetry day encourages you to give it a go anyway, by putting pen to paper and writing some terrible verse. If you’re feeling particularly cruel, you could read your bad poetry to friends, family and colleagues, and ask them what they think about your poem.

Here are some bits of poetry shared by El Mornors  last Bad Poetry Day.

Adelaide Gracza:

I’m off to work. Sitting on the bus
T would like the day to pass without a fuss
Sipping java From a silver cup
Wishing I wasnt really up

Antoinette:

fare thee well dear sweet Adelaide,
the breakfast dishes cleared and the bed is made
off on the bus, without any fuss
ready to make her mark on the day

Julianne:

I hate to be a poop, the paper is on my stoop, gonna take it in so I stay in the loop.

Antoinette:

And so Julianne must leave us, she cries
off and away, out the door she flies
with nary a glance back to the el morno crew
whom she’s left behind feeling sad and blue

Clearly our saucy Aussie was on a roll…what will she write for us this year? What will you write for us this year?

★~ Soft Ice Cream Day:

What would your number one complaint be about ice cream? Scooping it right? This might have become a world problem if  J.F. ‘Granpda’ McCullough and his son Alex, founders of Dairy Queen, hadn’t created soft ice cream, which is much easier to serve, back in 1938.

Soft Serve ice cream can be served on a sugar cone, in a waffle cone, as a part of a a banana split. It may be dipped in chocolate, or covered with a topping like sprinkles or crushed cookies.  The best place to celebrate soft serve ice cream is Dairy Queen, of-course

★~ Today in History:

♥~ 1899 – The Chicago Anti-Cigarette League was formed by Lucy Payne Gaston.

♥~ 1920 – Women throughout the United States rejoiced, as the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. It gave women the right to vote.

♥~ 1930 – Pluto the dog debuted in the Walt Disney cartoon “The Chain Gang.”

♥~ 1960 – The first commercially-produced oral contraceptive,Enovid-10, was introduced in Skokie, Illinois.

♥~1973 – Jethro Tull’s album, A Passion Play, landed at #1 in the U.S.

♥~ 1982 – The longest baseball game played at Wrigley Field in Chicago, IL went 22 innings before the Los Angeles Dodgers defeated the Chicago Cubs 2-1. The game had started the previous day and had been postponed, after 17 innings, because of darkness.

♥~ 1975 – The Blue Bell Inn in Lichfield, England, received history’s highest telephone bill. One month’s service, 4-billion, 386-million, 800-thousand dollars. Plus tax. It was a mistake.

♥~ 2003 – 24-year-old Ma Lihua from China tipped over 303,621 dominos, breaking the world record for longest solo domino tippage

★~Born Today:

♥~ 1587 – Virginia Dare – An expedition led by Sir Walter Raleigh landed at what is now Roanoke Island, North Carolina. Seven days later, on this day in 1587, Virginia Dare became the first child of English parentage to be born in America.

Ellinor and Ananias Dare were Baby Virginia’s parents; her grandfather, John White, was the governor of the Roanoke Colony.

As far as anyone knows, all was well with the little colony. That is, until four years later when a ship bringing supplies arrived only to find no colony. The settlers, including Virginia Dare, had vanished. No trace was ever found of the lost colony.

Legend has it that sometime in the 1600s a white doe was frequently seen in the area where the Dare family once lived. It is said that Virginia Dare returned to the colony as the doe.

♥~ 1936 – Robert Redford actor: All the President’s Men, Quiz Show, The Sting, Sneakers, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Out of Africa; Academy Award-winning director: Ordinary People [1980]; A River Runs Through It, Quiz Show

♥~ 1952 – Patrick Swayze dancer, actor: Dirty Dancing, Ghost, Father Hood, Red Dawn, Point Break, North and South; died Sep 14, 2009

♥~ 1978 – Andy Samberg actor: Saturday Night Live, Hot Rod

★~ Did You Know: More bad poetry

♥~ Theophile Marzials, was widely considered to have written one of the worst poems ever when the 19th century bard’s poetically addressed the tragedy known as The Tay Bridge Disaster–when the Tay Bridge blew down.

A Tragedy by Theophile Marzials:

Death!
Plop.
The barges down in the river flop.
Flop, plop,
Above, beneath.
From the slimy branches the grey drips drop…
To the oozy waters, that lounge and flop…
And my head shrieks – “Stop”
And my heart shrieks – “Die.”…
Ugh! yet I knew – I knew
If a woman is false can a friend by true?
It was only a lie from beginning to end–
My Devil – My “friend.”…
So what do I care,
And my head is empty as air –
I can do,
I can dare
(Plop, plop
The barges flop
Drip, drop.)
I can dare, I can dare!
And let myself all run away with my head
And stop.
Drop
Dead.
Plop, flop,
Plop.

♥~ Scotsman William Topaz McGonagall torturous verse led one critic to rave, “he was so giftedly bad that he backed unwittingly into genius,”  McGonagall’s only book, Poetic Gems, has sold for thousands of dollars at auction. Here’s a delectably awful sample from his poem:

“The Sprig of Moss”:

But, poor fellow, at home his father was lying dead,
And his little brothers and sisters were depending upon him for bread,
And one evening he was dismissed from his employment,
Which put an end to all his peace and enjoyment.

The poor lad was almost mad, and the next day.

His parent’s remains to the cemetery were taken away;
And when his father was buried, distracted like he grew,
And he strolled through the streets crying, What shall I do!

I’ll save you from having to read the rest and just tell you that the man sees some moss and feels considerably better (McGonagall really could have been arrested for abusing meter like that).

♥~ Margaret Cavendish, the Duchess of Newcastle-upon-Tyne in the 17th Century, was another historically terrible poet. The diarist Samuel Pepys summed her up as “mad, conceited and ridiculous,” and judging from her poem “What is Liquid?,” we could add “not scientifically or artistically gifted” to that list.

All that doth flow we cannot liquid name
Or else would fire and water be the same;
But that is liquid which is moist and wet
Fire that property can never get.

Then ’tis not cold that doth the fire put out
But ’tis the wet that makes it die, no doubt.

No doubt.

♥~ For a sampling of today’s worst poetry, visit Very Bad Poetry, which boasts an impressive collection of atrocious verse, including “Schrodinger’s sex panther,” “fattypants” and “Mexican Food.” “Schrodinger’s sex panther,” not surprisingly, kicks off with “Rarrrrr!” (with five “r” s, because it’s just that sexy).

#

I’m off to enjoy a cuppa outside with my pups and my camera. I have just begun to catch on to photoshop after three years of fooling with it. I might even break down and take a class this fall.

A big shout out to my sweet Mom and her partner Trinket! They went to the dog shows in Levelland, Texas to win and add titles to Trinket’s name and they have succeeded!  They have compete in open agility (jumpers) and won 2 blue ribbons and 2 red ribbons. Passing 4 times out of 6!

In case you are wondering, Levelland Texas is just outside of Lubbock, Texas. Did you know that Lubbock, Texas is called the “Hub City of the Plains” because a hub is “the slowest moving part of a wheel.

”I’m headed outside to enjoy the day! What are your plans for this super Saturday?

♥