I Had An Epiphany – Hallelujah!


I had an epiphany—an experience of sudden and striking realization—as I pulled my car into the garage and removed the keys from the ignition.

My keys are always lost or on their way to being lost. Recently, I was delivering something to somebody, with Rascal (my Jack Russell) along for the ride. I pulled in front of the home I was delivering the something to, responsibly locked the car, ran up the stairs to drop the item through the mail slot, then turned around and realized my keys had gone with the item through the mail slot. Rascal in car, purse in car, phone in car, and keys through mail slot with the car responsibly locked. Fortunately, I am not still standing on the porch stoop; the tenant in the adjacent apartment came home, opened the main door and retrieved my keys.

When I was spending more time at Cole’s school than he was, volunteering for one event after another, it was common knowledge that nobody should ever give me the keys to anything. I was responsible enough to chair an event, but not responsible enough to hang onto the keys to the building, the truck or the storeroom. I was introduced with a disclaimer: This is Katybeth. She is chairing our auction this year. We just love her. Please, never give her a set of keys. I wasn’t embarrassed; I was relieved.

Dearly departed Joe, the man who never lost his car keys, stopped asking me how I could lose my keys again and just assumed I would lose them—and if they weren’t lost, more than likely they were locked in my car or the trunk. Joe, was an expert at finding my keys, even if he wasn’t very nice or patient about looking for them.  I once called him in a panic because I had lost my remote that opened my car, and my car was locked. Joe calmly asked if I had my key. I happily reported that I did have the key, but the remote had fallen off the key ring. Silence followed. “Katybeth,” he said, “you have the key but not the remote.” Impatiently, I assured him the key was in my hand. He suggested I use the key to open the car. I knew, I married Joe for a reason. I’m brunette, thank you.

If I had a list of all the key-keeper suggestions I’ve tried, the list would be longer than Santa’s Christmas list. Ideas have included putting my car keys on a special key hook, designating special pockets in my purse, and wearing them around my neck on a lanyard. I tried this last one at an event, but the clasp broke on the lanyard and my key fell through a sewer grate. I kid you not; there were witnesses. In case you are wondering, we have keypads installed on our house’s doors so I never have to worry about a house key.

Back to my epiphany. One of the most frustrating places to lose your keys is at home. Everyone is furious with you for making them late, and it costs you a fortune in taxis. If you have to ask about a spare key, you clearly don’t understand my problem to its full extent. Driving into my garage today, I remember Pink’s obituary, in which she suggested leaving your keys under the front seat of the car. Everyone did this in the old days. These days, people worry a lot more about everything. However, my car is parked in a garage at home and locked behind a steel garage door. The only way in is through the main garage door. The alley gate is pad locked from the inside and I lost the key.

Today, after my epiphany, I tossed my keys under the seat and it felt so natural and effortless. I don’t know why, but it just felt so right. When I came into the house, I wrote on the kitchen white board, “Keys in car,” so I wouldn’t spend an hour looking for them before I remembered about my epiphany. (It’s key to cover all the bases.) Of course, this won’t solve my problem when I am away from home or stop me from tossing them into mail slots, but it is a step in the right direction!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Odd Loves Company!


P.S Yes, there are apps for lost keys, the newest one is the  Tile App. No less than a half a dozen people e-mailed me the link. I’m a legend. However, what if both the app and my keys both gang up on me, then what?

11 thoughts on “I Had An Epiphany – Hallelujah!

  1. Oh, Kb, I had to laugh over this one! How you manage to lose keys so often — and in such clever ways — I’ll never understand. This said from a Blonde (thank you very much!) who rarely loses her keys. Just watch, though, with the kind of day I’m having today, that might very well come back to bite me!

    • No you won’t. You aren’t the type to lose your keys or probably anything else. Your a Virgo and I can tell that is just they way you roll. A good thing. Commendable. We do share a love for an orderly dishwasher, tho!!

      P.S. Does you sister lose her keys?

  2. Does it surprise you that I can completely relate and my kids have been tardy to school more than once because my keys disappeared. My husband completely does not get it. So simple, he says, put your keys in the same place each time your done using them. Ha. If only. I firmly believe it is a curse. You’re on to something, why not toss them under the seat? My garage is very secure. Watch we’ll try it and the keys will be gone with the car. But until that happens we will always at least be able to leave home and that is saying something!

    • I would guess we were kindred spirits. As a facebook friend who is a real friend told me and I will share with you—“Somethings in life are more important and we have always been much more focused on THOSE things.” We always go or come eventually right?

  3. What on earth have you done to tick off the key god? I have never lost a pair of keys. They go in a pocket in my purse and lo and behold they are always in the pocket when I need them. I’m not bragging I just never knew this was such a serious problem. Your idea should work, you won’t forget and do it at the mall will you? And remember never hit the lock button while you are parked in the garage. Post-a-notes reminders might be helpful.

    • I didn’t do anything. It must have been a curse at birth by a fairy that was seeking revenge. It’s only a serious problem if you need to go to or return from some place.
      At least if I leave my keys in the car at the mall–I will have a new problem. . .

  4. OMG!!! I always…always misplace keys. I’m so bad that on trips I have to give one of the kids the extra key card. Like your idea about the car keys. My problem would be “where is the garage key again”?

    • It’s nice not to feel so alone. Our garage is secure without a garage key. The back gate that leads to alley is locked, swollen shut and padlocked–I can’t find the key. The only way in from the alley is the steal garage door. Which is controlled by a clicker and kept unplugged most of the time. Now that I have shared all of this information via the internet may I just add–big mean dogs live here? And can you believe in the old days most of the cars were unlocked with the keys under the seat? Times shuree have changed since I was a kid….Call me if you lose your keys and need a friend.

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