Fireworks Stop It!

July 4th

Happy 4th of July! I am so grateful to be an American, to own a house and to live in a neighborhood surrounded by fine, upstanding citizens. On this red, white and blue corn-eating, beer-drinking holiday, I support everyone’s right to explode fireworks and celebrate this great country’s Independence. God Bless America!

Unfortunately, some of my neighbors took remedial history and believe that the 4th of July starts on the evening of July 3rd.This may have started when city governments began holding fireworks shows on the 3rd instead of the 4th, being sensitive to the fact that people wanted to be home to exercise their constitutional right to light up and bomb their own neighborhood. I know, those of you who passed American history will question my assertion that the Constitution gives Americans the right to light fireworks. My friends, it is simply a matter of scholarly interpretation. But enough with belaboring the Constitution; it is the 4th of July, a time to celebrate! And to those neighbors who were shooting off fireworks at 1:30 a.m., I would like to say thank you for being the first in the neighborhood to wish us a happy Fourth of July. And allow us to wish you a summer filled with unrelenting mosquito bites.

It is hard to imagine how insensitive and inconsiderate one must be to live in a neighborhood and continually disturb the elderly, families with small children, and pet owners with an endless barrage of fireworks into the early hours of the morning, stopping only when our prayers have finally been answered and the big bangers fizzle out and fall into a smoke-induced stupor for a few hours or, if we are lucky, days.

Fireworks are supposed to be illegal, but the sensitive nature of our government suggests that officials should tread lightly when it comes to joyous American expressions of the sound and sights of war. This means neighborhoods must take leadership roles, to march forth and restore peace and quiet after a reasonable hour on the 4th of July and during the days leading up to and beyond the 4th of July. This must be done in the name of the elderly, families with small children, pets and those of us who are less fond of sonic booms rocking our much needed beauty sleep.

Most of us are happy to ooh and awe at fireworks on the 4th, spin a sparkler or two or light up the sky with Roman candles. And while many of us don’t really understand the value of digit-threatening firecrackers, we don’t stand in anyone’s way as they blast away, and we offer tolerance toward those who like the ear-numbing sounds of bombs and the smell of smoke. What we object to are the jokers who blast firecrackers after 11:00 p.m. and days before and after the holiday. These are the numskulls we must convince to step back from the celebration and find a shred of decency within themselves.

A few suggestions:

Do you know the offender? If you know the firecracker night owl and suspect they are just stupid but not all together unreasonable, slowly try to explain to them that some people are annoyed by loud, abrupt noises while they are trying to sleep, and ask them to stop.

If the firecracker monger throws beer cans at you or escalates their behavior, then retreat, videotape the behavior from a car window and call 311. Be sure to write down the house number for a little creative revenge at a future date.

Creative Revenge suggestions include the following: early morning games of ring the doorbell and run, standing outside their house in a black, witch-like costume the next time they have company and casting spells in their direction, telling the annoying people who leave endless flyers at your doors that your neighbors are big spenders and would appreciate extra flyers and follow-up phone calls, or take a laser pointer and shin it into their windows. Whatever. Works. Whatever you can get away with.

In conclusion, neighborhoods must declare, out of respect for every man, woman, child and pet, that the 4th of July begins and ends on the 4th of July and that no fireworks should be heard after 11:00 p.m. If this declaration doesn’t work, perhaps we can enlist the help of Jehovah’s Witnesses and offer them the opportunity to witness to these thoughtless, inconsiderate ingrates early on Sunday mornings.

4th of July

Odd Loves Company,

10 thoughts on “Fireworks Stop It!

  1. Happy Independence Day to you! Getting together with my Swiss & Scot friends in a few hours. Dogs included.
    Yeah, I hear you with those fire cracker people. They just don’t give a flip. There’s a bayou one block away which provides the perfect backdrop. I, too, hate these selfish jerks. What’s really special are the ones who do not clean up the street after themselves. The bayou……forget it. Well, good luck.

    • Sounds like a fun day with friends and furs. We are holed up at home. The noise is overwhelming, Cole feels like crap and my pups are miserable. In other words no joy in mudville. But tonight will be the worst of it, Cole will go back to the doctor in the morning, and hopefully we will be on the upswing soon. I hope your noise was more manageable and you managed some ohhh’s and ahhh’s too.

  2. And we have a downstate Congressman who wants to make fireworks sales in Illinois LEGAL!! He says we’re losing valuable revenues by sending folks across to IN and MO. Yeech!

    Having a pet, I truly sympathize with your plight. Darling Doggie Dallas twisted his front leg the other day, and I found myself babying him (“taxiing” him up and down stairs, going easy on the playtime, etc.). Then the firecrackers started. When I told Domer, he commented, “Poor dog. He probably thinks somebody’s shooting at him and he’s too lame to get away!”

    Happy Fourth — remember, crates are a dog’s best friend!

    • It doesn’t seem to matter if it’s legal or not in Chicago. Cole participated when he was younger and we’d all be out in the alley with the rest of the neighborhood. But it was confined to the fourth after dark until about 10pm.
      Poor Dallas. Domer comment was funny tho. Hope the pup is feeling better. My dogs have all taken cover all day. Except for Rascal who hates thunder but is fine with fireworks. I can’t keep up. Your right about crates…we crate everyone.

  3. Even tho my dogs have never been afraid of fireworks or thunder, I say amen to your thoughts. It’s absolutely insane to sell fireworks in a state as dry as NM, but they do it every year. Fireworks should only be set off on July 4th and not a day before or after.

    • It’s 9:30pm and it the neighborhood is thick with smoke and the firecrackers are relentless. It’s been going on all day. It is the 4th of July, tho, so I’ve tried to keep a good attitude after 11pm my attitude is going south.

  4. As usual the brainless people have been at it since about 5 P.M. and nothing but NOISE!. I just don’t get why these numbskulls find that entertaining!. I appreciate the pretty ones that they shoot up, but the senseless bombs make it unbearable for me and my little Millie. It is now 11:17 and it all seems quiet on the battlefront. AND IT HAD BETTER STAY THAT WAY! Hope you are enjoying peace and quiet as well and Cole is feeling better tomorrow. shhhhsh. let sleeping dogs lie.

    • It was awful and it goes on and on. The intermittent one’s drive me nuts since they most likely occur as soon as I coax one of my pups outside. I like the pretty one’s too. This year seemed worse than others. Maybe because they are legal in both Indiana and Michigan now. Hope Millie has recovered.

  5. We saw beautiful fireworks put on by a professional last night in a park overlooking the ocean. That’s the way to do it. They lasted 20 minutes and we went home. In MI the governor signed a bill last year to make fireworks legal. I was not happy. It’s all about the money, the state gets a cut of the fireworks revenue. Sucks.

    • Yes, now my neighbors can cross either state border and load up fireworks. Joe and Cole loved fireworks and they bought a lot of them but they used them all on the 4th and long before 11pm. It didn’t thrill me but I was a good sport. We also went to some professional fireworks shows on the and I loved it. I so agree that is the way to do it. And twirl sparklers at home! Hope you’re enjoying your trip.

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