My sweet Mom sent me a text.

Katybeth, add this number to your phone. It’s your Dad’s Life Alert number.

Ok. What do I do if they call me?

Answer it, then punt!

And then it occurs to me. I am hearing impaired. I have a cochlear implant, but I don’t hear reliably on the phone.

Mom, if they call me Daddy, is a goner. I won’t be able to hear them. People at the funeral will blame me. They will mummer Poor, Poor Charlie! If only his daughter could have heard the caller from Life Alert.

Well, just do your best.

I’m not sure that doing your best is enough in times like this. So I will hope they never need to call me. And if they do, I’m going to yell into the phone, call an ambulance over and over again. And then I will hope for the best.

Poor Dear Daddy!

(P.S. My dad is as fine as frog hair. His 90-something birthday is February 3rd. )