Guest Post by Rachel Fiske (did you know Rachel was on Oprah?)
In one of the “best” private high schools in Chicago, girls are making out with each other and exposing each others’ breasts to willing boys, at parties, for the boys’ viewing pleasure. Boys record these make-out sessions on their phones. Shyer girls record them themselves for shyer boys. What luck, that kids were born at this time in history when such amazing technology exists! How clever! How convenient! No longer do boys need to find their dad’s stash of boring old still shots; they can keep live action in their pockets! And no longer do girls have to pretend that they are not sexual beings! They are! Not only are they sexual beings, but stars, emailed from boy to boy for unlimited exposure! Fifteen minutes of fame, indeed! We are living in a new age! What freedom! What clueless parents!
I’m stunned, that with all this evolution on so many other levels, we—parents of the new millennium–have allowed our kids to become live porn for each other, instead of teaching them to be heart connected. It’s not that I’m sexually naïve. If I haven’t done it myself, I’ve read about it; but years have gone by since the last time I heard of a sex act that jarred my world as much as the news that high school girls are making alcohol-fueled soft-core porn videos for boys.
What does a girl need to ignore in order to let herself be filmed at a party? How desperate to be loved and seen must she be? When did women start to disassociate like this, and create disassociated daughters? With all the evolution and awakening and access to information and technological wizardry of the last 20 years, sex is still in the dark. Disassociated from love, from a heart connection, and universally unrecognized as a union of SOULS, of spirit shared, it is passed on to kids in ways that allow them to dishonor one another. How can we teach this honoring, though, if we don’t embody it ourselves?
How on earth do we do this? How do we walk our talk, rather than leaving our own sexuality in the dark and commenting woefully on the de-generation of this generation of teenagers? Can we fully embody our own sexuality in a way that honors it as the creative force it is? Can we celebrate it in ourselves and revere it in our partner, our mirror? When will NOW be the right time to make a change?
We average everyday people have squished sex into this tiny category, moved it to the end of the day, and only if our partner deserves it; we’ve kept the energy of sex so locked up in the genitals for so long, that we have culturally forgotten what it truly is: the energy of transformation, the energy of creation. Meanwhile kids, in an effort to discover what sex is, in an effort to actually feel something in this world of digital media, have learned to use our magnificently evolved electronic technology for sex play, without an evolved spiritual perspective. Why not? What do they know? We have never known how it feels to liberate this energy from its conventional pathway and send it throughout and around our body, throughout and around our partner, throughout and around our lives. We’ve never learned how to embody it without shadow and secrecy and shame.
What if? What if instead of the “don’t do what I do, do what I say” perspective, we evolved ourselves? What if we boring old adults with mortgages experienced the way that when this supercharged energy flows through the rest of our cells we feel and look more youthful and live from a joyful, conscious place? What if?
Have you ever tried to promote a tantric sex workshop? A whole weekend, people wonder. A whole weekend, about sex? What are we gonna do? We can’t take time from soccer games and birthday parties and bar mitzvahs and our Netflix queue to be sexy!
It’s about time.
It’s easy to say there’s not enough time. Especially for that! But this creation energy, sexual energy, is the same energy that makes the world go round; it’s life force, it’s the same energy that fuels the people and situations around us; liberating it makes our lives more synchronistic and easier to navigate. That’s the biggest draw for me: tantric sex, conscious sex energy, fuels my life. I am able to create my life, able to create happiness. Plus! I can see karma coming several miles away, without needing to interact with it. I can see illness coming a mile away, rarely needing to embody it. It’s not just about sex. It’s about living life from an awakened, happy state. It’s about evolving sex at the same rate of speed that the rest of the world is evolving.
There is no reason why we all can’t be ten times happier than we are. We have everything else we need. Don’t we? Our needs are so well met, better met than at any given historical time period, and American needs are met more easily than anyone else’s on the planet. We now have plenty of time for the world’s most blissful, most misunderstood activity—but we can’t, we can’t do it in the middle of the day, or move evolved, conscious, life-affirming sex to the top of the to-do list, because it’s been so culturally repressed. Or we can’t, because our partner was irritating that morning. Or we can’t, because we don’t have a partner—the second most used reason for avoiding addressing sexual energy.
What is the point of all of this ease and comfort and abundance? So we can have more time to watch movies? Surely it’s not to evolve our perception of sex so that we can raise sexually enlightened children.
There is no known cultural or spiritual permission to have spiritual sex. It is not held within the language and comprehension of the sacred. But it is, indeed, sacred. It is ready to evolve, into the Light. And Now is the time.
The Tantra Heart beginning level workshop in Chicago October 8-10 is the place, a sacred space, to begin awakening to the light behind the darkness that has shrouded sex. It is a safe time and place to let your own inner light shine, to awaken yourself to the abundance of Universal Love that is ready to come forth on the New Earth. Imagine a world in which you were honored simply for showing up, for seeing and being seen, in the Light. This is the world—this is the community, at least—that is being created Here, Now. Join us to get a taste of the future.
Let’s be a living example for the next generation, by learning to fully embody sex-heart-consciousness, so that kids have real live role models for how to live as fully connected, enlightened sexual beings.
Tantra is where yoga was 20 years ago: edgy, unknown. So be a pioneer. The unknown frontier is so much better than what we have inherited and what we are passing on to our kids, because we have an opportunity to create it, consciously. I’m in. Are you?
Rachel would love to hear from you in the comment section of this blog, or on Facebook or Twitter! Glad you were in my Odd neighborhood. Feel free to drop by any time. Odd Loves Company and odd loves you and you and you!!
Other Guest Posts by Rachel:
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I would totally be there if I wasn’t going out of town that week. You have sold me, Rachel. Bravo on this post and all your hard work! ♥
I am not sure what to say. I know the kids are doing the things you wrote about. But trying to find away to say its okay is not what I would like to do. I may have misunderstood the message but I am not on board with the New Age, One World, enlightened group. I am though a mother whos daughter started having children at 16. She had 4 chilren and is only 26. I am all for teaching them about love and respect and if and only if I cant convince them to wait for love, I will be the first to get them birth control. I am convinced that what they say to please you and keep peace is not always what they will do. They will unfortunately allow themselves to think sex means nothing and like everything else, it is okay to act as long as it hurts no one. But it hurt the 2 chilren I raised until they turned 10 and 8 and then I reluctantly gave them back to Mom to be part of the family. My daughter had a strange notion that having these children would give her some kind of unconditional love. She didnt think that kids are takers 1st than givers 2nd. Our children are looking for love and exceptance. They are misguided on how to get it. To me this is the tragedy in the world today. Good luck with your workshop. Enteresting article. Thank you for the thoughts.
Kathy, I agree: our kids are looking for love and acceptance. There are many ways to approach that. My path is not necessarily for everyone, that’s for sure! To clarify, in my first paragraph, I wasn’t being serious–not meaning to say it’s ok, but quite the contrary! The article is an effort to speak to people who think material things can provide can replace “real” in a kids life. Seeing their parents genuine love for each other for instance, or passion from really loving their life. The kind of passion that propelled you to love your grandchildren even if you were at odds with your daughter. Thanks so much for your comments. I appreciate your taking time to share your experience with us.
Thank you for your reply. Hope you can make a difference. Lord knows I don’t have the answer. I never was at odds with my daughter, she is just confused about love and responsibility. She does not think, even now about how the things she does effect the one’s around her This is the generation. Responsibility for one’s actions is missing. I grew up in the me generation but today’s generation can really can tell us what being selfish . You may have the answer and I honestly wish you well with your method and message.
I respect your thoughts and ideas but I choose the old fashioned traditonal belief system and that is to follow the strict guidelines given to us in the book of Genesis. It worked for me and I pray it works for my children. Sex is a blessing when it is performed between a man and a woman within the boudaries of a Holy covenant between God and the married couple. Mutual respect and love for one another is God’s design. We discuss our beliefs with our children and one accepts it and one does not. I do not judge others who take a different path but I can tell you this I am blisssfully happy with my spouse and I honor him. I pray my children will know this complete sexual happiness. I believe it only comes when we follow the will of the Lord. Old fashioned and silly to most but it works for me. But I will say it loud I respect every adults choice to live and love in their own way. As for the youth of today, conversation is needed with parents and children and prayer that they will know the sexually happiness from intimacy that the Almighty desires for their lives. Pornography is a absolute Satanic trap designed to steal our children’s joy and health ! Any instruction given by Rachel for the young people living a different path than our family’s I celebrate and encourage.
Ok I agree….but who’s the guy on the cover of that bag????? Just kidding:-) Loved Rachel’s thoughts in her blog. It’s a must read:-)
Yeah…who is he!! LOL
The guy on the bag is the naked Abercrombie guy. He stands in the doorway of most Abercrombie stores during the winter holidays when the malls are crowded. He wears low slung jeans with the band of his Abercrombie boxer briefs peeking out above them and nothing else. He stand in the doorway, half naked and he is supposed to draw people into the store. If you want to take a picture with him you pay a donation to some cause or other. I’m sure it is not the exact same guy, but during the holidays this guy is like the Santa on every corner. Every Abercrombie has a naked guy out front.
As for the guest blog, I found it interesting. I have always been the outcast in our community because our family was very honest and open about sex but completely opposed to violence. My kids saw movies with bad language or nudity long before they saw movies where people were killing, maiming, disemboweling, beheading, raping, torturing, etc. I often defended myself by saying that my kids probably heard worse language at school and they were old enough to know what was appropriate to say and what wasn’t. As for the sex, I felt assured that my kids would each eventually have sex and that the movies brought up topics for our conversation. Topics like what happens when teens have unprotected sex, what constitutes date rape, the problems that arise from sex without feelings, etc. I don’t think it is especially important for everyone to wait to get married before having sex. In fact I would encourage everyone to “test drive” before buying. However I do believe that love certainly makes things better.
I have no idea about the tantric sex thing, as I live in Mayberry RFD but it does sound interesting.
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