Did you read the directions!!
Cleaning out some old file folders the other day, I found this list of odd warnings for everyday products. Let me share them with you, along with a few of my pithy comments. Please feel free to add a little pithy of your own.
- Sears hair dryer (blow dryer): “Do not use while sleeping.” Sears clearly does not understand the value of multi-tasking.
- On a bag of Fritos: “You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.” Shoplift in order to win.
- Dial Soap: “Use like regular soap.” And that would be how?
- Swanson Frozen Dinners: “Serving Suggestions: Defrost.” It’s only a suggestion, though.
- Tesco’s tiramisu dessert: (Written on bottom of box) “Do not turn upside down.” Oops.
- Rowenta Iron: “Do Not Iron Clothes On Body.” Another product that isn’t a time saver.
- Boots Children’s cough medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” Do not let your five-year-old drive the car with a head cold.
- Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May Cause Drowsiness.” One would hope.
- Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use.” And what exactly would my other option be?
- Japanese Food Processor: “Not to be used for other uses.” I’m curious–are you?
- Sainsbury’s peanuts: “Warning: Contains nuts.” Really?
- American Airlines package of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” Step 3: Fly Southwest.
- Child’s Superman costume: “Warning: This costume does not enable you to fly.” Parents watch way too much television.
- Swedish chain saw: “Do not attempt to stop chain saw with your hands or genitals.” Good grief!
- Bottle of Palmolive dishwashing liquid: “Do not use on food.” Damn, out of pancake syrup again. Oh wait! I’ll just use a little Palmolive dishwashing liquid.
- All laundry detergent: “Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.” Post a NO SWIMMING sign on your washing machine.
Remember, always read the instructions first. It just makes good sense. Or does it?
Glad you were in my Odd neighborhood. Feel free to drop by any time. Odd Loves Company and odd loves you and you and you!! I would love to hear from you in the comment section of this blog, or on Facebook or Twitter!