Odds and Ends

★~♥~♥~★~  ♥~★~★~♥ ~★~♥~♥~★~  ♥~★~★~♥ ~★~♥~♥~★~  ♥~★~★~♥ ~★~♥~♥~★~  ♥~★~★~♥ ~

If you are interested in having your pups try Deer Antlers, we are having a random draw on our Deer Antlers Facebook page; or just enter your name into the comment section on Odd and I will toss it into the pot. The drawing will take place on January 31st.

My kid received a score of 94% on a tough math test. When he shared the news, he said, “Mom, when I saw my grade, I was afraid I had cheated!”

This is the last week to enter the Odd word invitational. Rascal told me she will draw a word on Wednesday.  Below are a few examples of great words added by Odd readers. Do you have a word to add?

  • Assholio:  An ass who is holier than thou. Or a blogger who grades blog comments. (submitted by Stevie)
  • Crapmitment:: All those things you said yes to and now wish you did not have to do  (not-submitted by Kb)
  • Bi-Sackual: Paper or Plastic it does not matter (submitted by my dear mom)
  • Cephaloanalectomy – to have one’s head surgically removed from one’s arse! (submitted by Jen)
  • petriotism: A dedication to performing science experiments (submitted by Wendy)
  • Dowagger – old dog who thinks she’s queen of the house  (submitted by Mary Lee)

Who Let the Campers Out! Me! Me! Me!

  • Most of Chicago is happy Rahm can run for mayor. Chicago politics are the windiest thing about this city. I may not vote for him, but he deserves to be on the ballot. Why couldn’t Rahm run for mayor

    We  the American people should poke fun at  TSA every single chance we get. It is the American way!

    And finally–Why did the chicken cross the road? Thank you for sending this to me DM. Clever and amusing.

    SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!

    BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

    JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

    HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

    COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chickenwas going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.

    JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side.’ That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

    GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it’s lifelong dream of crossing the road.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2011, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2011. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

    Thanks for being Odd with me this week! I could not do it without you! Really!  Feel free to drop by any time. I would love to hear from you in the comment section of this blog, or on Facebook or Twitter!


13 thoughts on “Odds and Ends

  1. Yes, it has been a topsy-turvy week! We have been all over the board and back again. The question is, can we top it next week? Glad to be in your neighborhood!

  2. Oh my gosh.. this is too funny! I sooo needed a good laugh today. Thank God I come accross your blog – thanks to Diane from simply Diane! I love your blog too, I subscribe!

    • Diane?
      Have you ever wondered if the Chicken really did cross the road. I mean who exactly saw the chicken cross the road? Maybe he was on that side all along. The whole chicken crossing the road thing could be a myth.

  3. Congrats to Cole on the math test! Math is pretty hard to cheat in (unless you copy someone else’s paper!).

    My favourite chicken response is Colonel Sanders’.

    Have a great weekend, Katybeth!


    • I like Colonel Sanders’ response too! He cuts right to the chase.
      Cole would have been happy just passing the test so the 94% was a good surprise and acknowledgment of how hard he has been working in math but I do think he was a little surprised….

  4. What a fun odds and ends post. Deer antlers? Who knew?! Yay on the 94% – and I love his response! Life sure is fun with a quick-witted teen! You have such clever readers! I love the word inventions and the chicken responses. Too funny!

    • I think kids just get better and better. Love the teens I know: most of the time.

      Thanks for dropping by…and adding thoughtful to Odd–which your post “Imagine A Teacher Making History so clearly reflected.

  5. Miss Peggy name will be entered to win a deer antler and perhaps we can work a deal for Ivy who seems to have settled in rather nicely to your abode–is Mickey Mouse holding her human parents captive?

Comments are closed.