This week I had a whole morning free and decided to visit King Spa as a friend had recently mentioned enjoying her visit to this spa. The King Spa website assured me that I would be relaxing in whirlpools and baking in saunas that would cleanse my body of toxins and purify me while refreshing my skin. Aromatic herbs would calm and relax my nerves. It sounded exactly like what I needed.
When I arrived at King Spa, I was greeted by the front desk clerk, who spoke in a very calm spa-like voice, and while I did not understand a word of what he said past “Welcome to King Spa,” I got the gist of what I was supposed to do. I paid my $25, was given a key for my locker, and went through the double doors into the spa area. At the end of the first long rug is a set of lockers where you leave your shoes. Knowing that I would lose my key before I returned to the locker, I just stuffed my shoes into my bag.
The next set of doors led to the women’s locker room. Entering the room, I immediately noticed that I was surrounded by naked women shaving their legs, waxing their body parts, plucking eyebrows, drying off, and going in and out of the whirlpool just off the locker room area. No one was wearing a bathing suit. I asked the attendant, “Are you allowed to wear a bathing suit?” She answered, “No. No bathing suits. You be naked, all naked.” I asked again just to make sure I had heard her right the first time. Handing me a towel, she mimed with her hands and answered, “Yes, be naked.” I handed back my towel and robe — the only part of me this place was going to see bare was my feet!
Back at the front desk, the greeter looked at me and said, “So soon you leave.” I said, “Um, yeah” as I handed him my locker key. He just smiled, opened the cash register, and handed me my $25.
No spa day for me. I drove to Target and bought a book, some socks, a couple of organizing containers on sale, and a pumpkin spice latte. I then went over to the cemetery and sat reading my book and sipping my latte for an hour. It wasn’t the morning I had planned, but it wasn’t a bad morning.
I later learned from the friend I had first heard about the spa from — a woman I never would have believed would have felt comfortable at a naked spa (you just never know) — that the experience was more like a “bath house” experience than a spa experience and was focused on really allowing the body to sweat freely. She went on to say that had she known I was going, she would have mentioned that she didn’t think it would be my cuppa. I wanted to shout, “I’m not a prude. In my youth, I streaked a senior citizen and I married a man who used to come out of the shower, strike a pose, and yell, ‘Look, I’m waterfall’ as the water dripped off his various parts (I’d laughed and then suggested that it would be wise to move away from the front window; the neighbors were starring. He would wave before moving on).” She then went on to say that it might have been easier to navigate the spa with friends. OH NO! I like spending time with my friends fully clothed thank you too much.
No judgment on my part tho; I just believe that if God had wanted me to sit around in public hot tubs and saunas naked he wouldn’t have invented bathing suits. (Yes, I know Land End invented bathing suits, but we all know using God makes your argument stronger.) I still love my friend tho … without her, I would not be writing this blog post, and besides, everyone needs a friend or two who enjoys frequenting bathhouses. And my sweet mother will be so relieved that she doesn’t think bath houses are my cuppa.
Another friend I shared the experience with agreed that going to a nakey-butt bath house would not be her cuppa either and was surprised that the spa didn’t offer a bathing suit option. This didn’t bother me tho. Bath house spas cater to those people who want to experience a fully naked cleanse or maybe just be free of bathing suits that ride up in back. I understand.
I can’t wait until the next time bath houses come up in conversation! I will throw out that I went to one once. My experience will make me seem more worldly. Nobody, ever has to know my worldliness is not skin deep and only lasted about five minutes. You won’t tell, right?
Have you ever been to a bathing-suitless bath house? Could you or would you go to one? Inquiring and nosey minds want to know!
I would like to give full credit for the title of this blog post to Teresa.
Isabel the bath house friend has been featured on Odd several times for her snorting skills and cat box cake.
Full Disclosure: In ‘fairness’ to King Spa, the naked part is only for the water features (steam room, hot tubs in three different temps, cold plunge pool, and for showering and massages and scrubs). For their 12 (different!) saunas, they give you a comfy pair of pink shorts and a t-shirt.
15 thoughts on “King Spa – Nakey-Butt Bath House”
This is so funny. No I have never been to a nakey butt bath house and while I respect the right of others to spa in their birthday suits it is not something I could do. Hope you have a spa day at a spa where you are more comfortable.
I plan too! Keeping an eye out for a groupon that works!
well, you know I have been 😉 Glad it inspired a blog though (every ‘moon’ – er. nakey butt – has a silver lining). And, too, liking that it gave you another insight into who I am (without having to be naked :-D).
oops. . . have I outed myself here as your source 😆
Actually I outed you at the bottom of the post when I linked to the cat box cake and snorting videos. Yes it’s always fun to be surprised by your friends!
My mom to took me to one when I was 10 with her friends. I was traumatized when I saw what happens to a womans body 50 years later.
I can imagine. 10 seems really!! young to me but this place does allow children with adults.
it was at that creepy bath house on division that was open to women once a week. closed now. Might have been younger, but I will always remember.
Nope. I don’t even like communal hot tubs and whirl pools when you are wearing a bathing suit. Too funny, Katybeth. I looked at their website and can not find anything that says that bathing suits aren’t allowed. They should at least put that in bold letters. I guess they hope you might show up and change your minds, or if you are with friends they will talk you into it. I would wait for them in the food court.
How did I miss you Liz. Sorry! I would go hang out in the food court or maybe go to a movie. I wouldn’t ruin my friends fun but I wouldn’t participate. Same way I go to amusement parks. I’m happy to go and visit and hold your sunglasses or drink but I’m not going on the ride! I think the no bathing suit rule should be clearer but maybe most people ask more questions than I do up front.
In ‘fairness’ to King Spa, I will say that the naked part is only for the water features (steam room, hot tubs in three different temps, cold plunge pool, and for showering and massages and scrubs). For their 12 (different!) saunas, they give you a comfy pair of pink shorts and a t-shirt.
missed those links to catbox cake and snorting — I am truly odd. . .
Thanks for clarifying. I was not there long enough to be handed the pink shorts and t-shirt. It’s still not my cuppa But even if you only use the 12 (different!) for the price of $25.00 and 24 hours of unlimited use it is a very good deal.
If you are over two years old PLEASE wear a bathing suit!
The rule is no suits. But you have a choice about going or not…
HeeHee, how funny, Kb! No, I wouldn’t feel comfortable in a naked spa. Or bath house. Or whatever they’re calling those places these days. Must be because I’m a Virgo and we tend to be prudish. The Sheltie watches while I dress and undress, though — does that count??!
Not only do NOT want to go to a nakey-butt spa, I’m not even comfortable around nakey prancing ladies in ANY locker room. In my previous job/life, a couple of ladies would nakey-prance in locker room of surgery center. We would be forced to see that they didn’t wear panties under clothing…”Ewww!!”
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