Dinner Roll Sob Story

Pillsbury Dough Boy Balloon

What is wrong with me? I am sobbing over a failed dinner roll recipe, and I want my mom.

We all know that cooking doesn’t come naturally to me. If you don’t know this, you are clearly a new Odd reader (welcome to my Odd blog). Sorry I am such a mess.

It all started when the Pioneer Women posted a recipe for dinner rolls. The rolls looked so good — only had six ingredients — and the recipe set the difficulty level at easy. I said to myself, ” Self, you can make these rolls for Thanksgiving.”  Homemade rolls!

However, I know myself better than to try a new recipe the same day I want to serve it, so tonight, I pulled out the ingredients and followed the recipe exactly—well, not the first time; the first time I forgot to put in the oil,  but that was ok because I had noticed more than a few hairs in the pot I was stirring and was considering starting over, anyway.

The second time, all went well — no hairs, correct ingredients. I put the dough under a warm towel and waited for it to rise to double its size. It rose to at least triple its size. The next step was to butter muffin tins and then form the rolls by pinching off a walnut-sized piece of dough and rolling it into a little ball. I was then supposed to tuck three of those little balls into each buttered muffin cup. Cute, huh? Yes, except that the recipe said the number of servings was 24, and I had enough dough to make a Pillsbury Doughboy the size of Paul Bunyan. Rolling the balls to at least twice the suggested size, I ended up with about 75 dinner rolls. The next step was to cover the rolls and let them rise for one to two hours before baking them. Currently (in real time), my 75 plus dinner rolls are supposedly rising under warm dishtowels on my kitchen counters.

When I was done rolling the balls, I started to cry, and then I started to laugh at myself crying, and then I was glad Cole wasn’t home because I was standing in my kitchen feeling personally attacked by dinner rolls, sobbing and laughing at the same time.

The reality is I’m homesick. I miss my mom (who hopefully won’t read this — you know how moms are), and I miss my dad (safe here, he doesn’t read Odd), and I dearly miss departed Joe.

Why failed buns triggered such a wave of homesickness is anyone’s guess, but please pass me a tissue, and tomorrow I promise to let you know how the buns turned out.

If you need a pity party to crash, come on over ….Odd Loves Company.


30 thoughts on “Dinner Roll Sob Story

  1. Oh Katybeth I have had moments like that when it’s just too much. I bet your rolls will be better than you expect and if they why don’t you make pop overs instead! They would be delicious with butter and gravy or do what I do buy a package of brown and serves and call it done.
    Looking forward to hearing how they turn out.

  2. I bake my own rolls every year and when I looked at the recipe I thought 25 servings is ridiculous unless each serving was 4 or 5 rolls per person. It was 4 cups of milk and something like 9 cups of flour. A couple muffin tins? You would need a lot more than a couple. I have a much better recipe, reasonable amount of rolls, and just as simple. I’m not a fan of these want-a-be internet cooks. Next time just grab your Betty Crocker cookbook or like Liz suggested there is not a thing wrong with a package of brown and serves or Pillsbury crescent rolls.
    Sometimes it’s these kinds of fails that make us realize how much we miss our Moms cooking Thanksgiving dinner.
    BTW–Hope you don’t mind if I laughed a bit at your story which made my day end a whole better.You may have your cooking ups and downs but you tell a great story.

  3. Marcie, Marcie, Marcie … come to Chicago for a roll or 75. Poor Katybeth. (Made me chuckle a bit, I must confess.)

  4. Chalk this up as a lesson to go out and buy Rhodes frozen rolls that you bake and NO one would know if you made them from scratch or not. In fact, you don’t need to tell that they aren’t made from scratch. So whose to say that not everyone is a Suzie Homemaker. I certainly am Not.

  5. I think the whole problem began with the Pioneer Woman recipe – after all, she feeds ranch hands. Maybe they each eat a dozen rolls for dinner, but most of settle for one or two. Except Carter, who will eat them all unless you move fast enough to snag yourself one! Second point – cooking and baking are two very different animals. Baking is science, and for you to tackle yeast is very impressive. I love to bake, and have had success with yeast recipes, but I’ll admit I avoid them if possible. Nothing like a nice dense banana bread to sooth the soul! (((hugs))) for your homesickness – sad sucks

    • Sad does suck. Yeast and I usually get along pretty well too which is another reason this fail surprised me. Good point about the ranch hands! Cole loves the bread basket too but these rolls ended up being so bad he didn’t even want one. Love dense banana bread!

  6. Ya know what? Holidays are hard sometimes. We all want to be home for the holidays, whatever and wherever home is. And although you will create a wonderful and lovely thanksgiving, there is still that part of you that wants to go back to when you would steal a fresh baked roll that your mom or grandma made. Cooking during the holidays equals love. So cook up those 75 rolls and share them with those you love, near or far. If they are terrible, they will smile say thank you give you a hug then proceed to feed them to the birds and they will love them 🙂

    Big Hug.

  7. I’ve been reading PW nearly since the beginning. I think her recipes are often “off” in terms of servings. I don’t think this failure was a cooking failure, it was a recipe failure.

  8. Shucks, Katybeth, you made me laugh and cry — not a pretty sight with this nasty cold I’ve got going on! Seriously, I know just what you mean. Holidays are hard enough, but they’re made worse by missing your loved ones. If you and Cole have the time, you ought to hop on a plane and head to your folks’ house — enjoy some pampering! As for the rolls, haven’t you heard of Pillsbury?? My mom makes some mean cinnamon rolls, filled with raisins and butter, so we need never resort to that Pioneer Woman. Besides, she probably has oodles of spare time to slave away in her kitchen. Hugs to you!

  9. oh, my ..no Pioneer Woman recipes for me ! Must have been a bad recipe, not a bad baker ..How did the rolls eventually turn out ? I gave up on baking with yeast years ago except for my handy dandy breadmaker machine..very easy .. 🙄

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  11. Doesn’t sound like a ‘fail’ to me..sounds like you have oodles and oodles of rolls! And I know…sometimes just a moment will catch you out of the blue and you’re in tears. I think that’s natural. Like Emily says…holidays are hard.

    Can’t wait to see how the rolls turned out! I’ll come over and eat some!

  12. yeah…..the weirdest things make you feel vulnerable, you begin thinking of those who mean the most to you, then the flood gates open wide.
    guess the chicago crew will be carbo loading!

    • Not exactly. The carbs didn’t turn out so well. Part 2 coming up 😀 Your right about “the weirdest” things. . .they just blindside you sometimes.

  13. best of the best! Go to Carla’s and she does it all!! Some times if you use a yeast recipe and self rising flour it’ll do you in in a big way!

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