Dinner Roll Fail Follow Up!

 One counter of rolls. I “rolled” all the dough (75 or so rolls) but ended up only baking about 2 pans.

Two dozen dinner rolls came out of the oven at about midnight. The dough yielded about 75 rolls, but if I had made them the suggested size I would have easily had over 100. After baking the first two dozen, I tasted one and decided I was done.

I do have a few questions for  Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman.

When you write “24 servings,” are you serving the Oklahoma Rodeo Association or a family of six? What defines “24 servings”? Obviously it is not 24 rolls, which I discovered last night.

The level of difficulty on this recipe was rated “easy.” In my opinion, if it cannot be baked in an Easy-Bake Oven, it should not be rated “easy.” But how can a recipe that uses the words “scald” and “scant” be labeled “easy”? Yeast is an ingredient. Yeast is not easy; even active dry yeast has its moments. The only reason I considered this recipe when I saw yeast on the ingredient list is that for some unknown reason yeast and I have a working cooking relationship. I can bake bread.

“No knead” is a benefit of this recipe, or so you say in the title. Uhm, how do you stir nine cups of flour, four cups of milk, two packages of yeast and one cup of sugar? Does it hurt the dough to knead it? I finally grabbed it out of the pot and punched it down a bit; is this where I went wrong? Stirring to “combine the ingredients” was impossible, even with my heavy-duty, stainless, Alton Brown-approved spoon.

Let’s just pretend I don’t need to make 75 dinner rolls. What should I do with the leftover dough? Can I wrap it and keep it in my fridge? In the freezer? And, if so, for how long? This would have been good to know.

Odd friends, let me be perfectly clear: I am not blaming the PIONEER WOMAN for my dinner roll fail. It’s not her fault the dinner rolls that I made following her step-by-step recipe were an utter failure and I was left with at two pans of oversized  and awful-tasting rolls and enough unbaked sticky roll dough to give my garbage disposal nightmares. And I know it was terrible presumptuous to tweet her for help while she was filming at the Food Network and meeting Bobby Flay. Really, are my buns her problem? Of course not.

Pillsbury Doughboy, I apologize for straying! You remain my main squeeze…for now and always. OX.

Now the pictures you have all been waiting for:

This roll looks pretty but  (like all the rest ) is a ‘nothing mucher’ when it comes to taste.

This next roll was a little large for a dinner roll, don’t you think?

A roll made on a cookie sheet, because who has more than 2 muffin tins? Not I. Remember the rolls had to rise for almost 2 hours before they were baked; they needed a resting place….so I used cookie sheets. The result? Flat not rolled.

Opps, looks like I got a little passive aggressive here…Oh. Well.

And here is a picture of my pet squash. Isn’t he cute? I just wanted to show him to you.

Odd Loves Company..and Odd ♥ YOU. Thank you one and all for cheering me up throughout my roll fiasco!

P.S. Can you believe today was Homemade Bread Day. I did not even look at my El Morno notes until 9pm. Oh well we can all have store bought brown-burn rolls with our Vichyssoise tomorrow!

15 thoughts on “Dinner Roll Fail Follow Up!

  1. I would forget about those buns and just roll with the punches. Pillsbury dough boy will never fail ya.

    Tomorrow Kb.

  2. OK, you’ve got me laughing out loud now. Husband thinks I am insane. Well he may be right. Thanks for trying the recipe for all of us. Now we don’t have to! 🙂

    • Exactly. Of-course if your the type of cook that knows what scant means, and realizes that 24 servings is often more than 24 rolls if you make them with 9 cups of flour and 1 cup of sugar. . .your rolls might turn out much better.

  3. OMG !! Baking and cooking are so over rated..that is why we go out to eat often..
    I will steer clear of the Pioneer woman recipes..lol 🙄

  4. Fine. I forgot that I was at AT&T, which fell silent as I howled when reading this post. I love how you turn lemons into lemonade…. Whatever life tosses your way, it can ALWAYS be fodder for our entertainment!

  5. Omg, Kb you crack me up!!!! You probably the only one I know who can write about self failure hysterically. 🙂

  6. Thanks for sharing “the rest of the story.” As usual, I can count on you to crack me up! Whatever were you thinking, my friend? Getting all Bobby Flay on us? Still, I have to admire your ambition. And your persistence. But doesn’t Thanksgiving dinner have enough challenges, without adding “Susie Homemaker/Baker” to the mix??!

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