Recently someone posted the following comment on my blog post: “How do you bounce from a blog post like “Over is Hard” to “Super Bowl Sandwiches? I can never tell if you are happy or if you are sad. Are you ok or not ok?”
It’s an interesting comment and something I sometimes wonder about, too. How can Cole and I can be in the depths of despair, missing Joe like crazy, and still want to laugh and make Super Bowl Sammies?
If my explanation bounces around like a ping pong ball, please just be my odd friend and bounce along with me. Sharing our experience with you is harder than if I attempted to explain it to you.
Joe. I miss him every single day, but not every single moment of every single day. I was both happy and sad with him. It stands to reason that I would be happy and sad without him. Happy has always come easily to me, and Cole shares this trait. Learning how to process sad has been a learning curve we’ve both had to face.
Laughter has been one of our greatest allies. Recently, when Cole and I were walking through a mall, he noticed a Lens Crafter store and said, “There is where dad used to buy his glasses.” Not being able to resist, I immediately said, “Poor Dad,” and Cole and I dissolved into giggles. Well, I giggled and Cole laughed. (Just in case he reads this, Cole never giggles!!) In this brief moment, Cole and I were both sad and happy.
Joe and I talk a lot. I have shared some of our sillier conversations on Odd, and one day I will share some of the deeper conversations. Suffice to say for now, dead or alive, Joe is Joe. However, now Joe communicates the bigger picture and when he shares with me, I lean in close and listen. When Joe tells me we are loved and all is well, I don’t doubt it, even when my present circumstances seem to be proving him wrong.
When I wrote “Over is Hard,” in that moment and place in time, Cole and I were being swallowed whole by grief. We grabbed on tight to each other and rode out the storm. It just so happened that riding out the storm included tarts and Super Bowl sandwiches.
Borrowing a quote from Ree’s story of her Gaga, over on the Pioneer Women’s Blog, “Death and loss and upheaval does not have to take happiness away.”
So, I guess the short answer to the questions, “Are you happy or sad? Are you ok or not?” is yes.
Glad you were in my Odd neighborhood. Feel free to drop by any time. Odd Loves Company and odd loves you and you and you!! I would love to hear from you in the comment section of this blog, or on Facebook or Twitter!
6 thoughts on “Happy or Sad-Grief Bounces”
I think you have captured here, and in your other “Odd” posts, in your inimitable way, the very essence of dealing with the death of a loved one — happy and sad, okay and not okay. Grieving is exactly that, imo, and that is what makes it quite consumming and revelatory. I’m so glad you’re sharing your revelations with us here, my friend.
Thank you Isabel, for sharing it with me- as I know you have navagated your own rocky paths with such grace!
I love that you are able to share everything you do with us.
….and to think it all started with a Deer Antler….thanks for being a part of our odd family!
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