I might be a Kleptomaniac.
Wait. Let’s review. I want to be clear. A kleptomaniac is someone who has an irresistible urge to steal items of trivial value. A nymphomaniac is a woman who has an irresistible urge to have sex with as many different men as possible.
Ok. I might be a K-l-e-p-t-o-m-a-n-i-a-c.
On Thursday night, Cole and I fondued. Our waiter used a small flashlight to help us rescue Cole’s potato. The potato had fallen into the fondue pot and was at risk of being overcooked. The day after our fondue adventure, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small flashlight.
The following day, Cole and I went to lunch at a fun restaurant called The Revolution Brewery. When our meal arrived, I noticed that I did not have the customary silverware-wrapped-in-napkin setup. I requested a napkin and silverware from our server. She expressed surprise, apologized, and promptly supplied them.
Later the same day, I reach into my purse for my wallet to pay for my Grande White Chocolate Mocha with whole milk, whipped cream, and an extra pump of syrup and pulled out a rolled up black napkin.
Oops! I just found my napkin and silverware from my earlier lunch.
Walking out of Starbucks with my drink, a young woman came running after me saying, “Ma’am, I think you have my keys.” I opened up my hand, and sure enough the keys were not mine. I gave them back.
Driving home, I was concerned that my kleptomania was progressing from flashlights to cars so quickly; but then I thought, “If it gets really bad, I’ll just take something for it!”
Glad you were in my Odd neighborhood. Feel free to drop by any time. Odd Loves Company and odd loves you and you and you!! I would love to hear from you in the comment section of this blog, or on Facebook or Twitter!
12 thoughts on “I might be a Kleptomaniac.”
Too funny! I am glad you clarified Klepto and Nympho–I could have been confused
Vi, Thanks for dropping by Odd!!
I’ve been known to “accidentally” take things that don’t belong to me, especially one specific item…pens. Funny thing is, a have a ton of them, but can never seem to find one when I need it.
Pens. Yes! All the time…but they don’t count do they?? Or is the reason we can never find one is karma is coming back at us…
Thanks for dropping by Odd!
Funny but for the record I would prefer the Nympho to a Klepto any day!
Good to know Nancy, Good to know!
I think that there is an oil for that….
Howling!! I kept trying to work that line into the post. Odd Friends, click on Cynthia’s name to find out which oil!
I can’t TELL you how many times I have walked out of Target without paying for items that have fallen under the seat section of the cart and I just don’t see them. I papered all of my shelves in the kitchen for free. I mean, I could go back and pay for them, but the way I see it is they should have noticed, right? I get to my car, see the item at the back of the cart, check my receipt and then call my husband – “I stole from Target again.”
Today when we ate breakfast out…Cole looked at me and said In front of my brother and sister-in-law) Mom please don’t steal the silverware….If I stole from Target, I bet he would call security…I’m a flower child raising Alex P Keaton. . .
Thanks for dropping by Odd.
I’m going to mark you down as “likely” for both of them.
Thank you for the vote confidence!
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