My family is odder than your family. This weekend, I’m doing a little Odd Blog housekeeping. I wrote this post in May, 2009. It may be due for an update. I’ll work on it. In the meantime, I’ve cleaned it up a bit to share again. . .
My Odd Family…
My mother always travels with at least one Doberman and her gun, yet my dad admonishes her to be careful.
A cousin traveled to Granddaddy Tigner’s funeral and was distraught when he could not find his suit. At the open casket funeral, the suit was found … Granddaddy was being buried in it.
Uncle Mike visited Chicago in January and felt the need to open a window for fresh air. He fell asleep and later woke up complaining because it was so damn cold. He is still talking about how he almost froze in Chicago.
My dad, a member of the Audubon Society, traveled the United States for 30 years looking for a specific kind of wild chicken. He found it. So he started looking for a different species of wild chickens.
Uncle Frank, married to Aunt Jill, convinced us all that a ceiling fan left on while no one was home might fall on top of the bed, get caught in the sheets, and set the house on fire. He did not seem to be concerned when we slept under the spinning ceiling fan, though.
Grandmother (Tutu), while playing bridge, looked out the window and noticed the garage was in flames, but waited to call the fire department until after she had played her bridge hand. It was a really good hand.
My Grandmother was called Tutu because Tortuga was too hard for a young grandchild to say. She liked turtles.
Grandfather (Papa) would pretend he was going to answer the phone by moving his feet up and down and yelling, “I’ll get it!”
My mother and her brother Mike passed a can of sardines back and forth through the mail for over 20 years. The sardines had been to more places (with the help of friends) than either my mother or her brother.
Cousin Carla recently wanted to bring some loose chips back to her hotel room after a Gala affair, so she used her $2,000 Chanel purse as a doggie bag.
Cousin Craig generously sends flowers to his family but always signs another person’s name to the card.
Aunt Judy married into odd, and after 50 plus years, still professes to love us all.
Aunt Florianna loved to take showers on the front lawn. She was not quite right, but we loved her and she was very clean.
Cousin Kelly and Uncle Mike love to mow the grass.
We all count silently when we are anxious. Handy, if you ever need a sterling silver count after a party.
Aunt Mimi sprinkled at least a tablespoon of sugar on her vegetables before she ate them.
My Mother’s youngest brother is called Uncle Dickie Bird.
If we like something belonging to another family member, we ask without hesitation if we can have it when they die-always assuming they will die first.
If we find a really funny card, we will send it to one another without signing our names. This means, of course, that the card can be sent on to someone else.
On one very long road trip, my dad made up a song about an alligator that had eaten me and then got diarrhea. I was flattered.
Dear Husband Joe, often shouted out in the middle of the night, “WHERE IS THE BABY?!” And, of course, I shouted right back, “Well, where did you PUT HIM!”
Cousin Molly divorced a Mike and remarried a Mike. 22% of our small, immediate family has the same first name.
My parents kept me in line when I was little with stories about my “other” bad sister who they had to drown because she was very naughty.
….. and so it goes… and of-course it goes without saying that I love my family like crazy and everyone knows how much I love crazy!
Any Oddities in your family?
Odd Loves Company,
A few more family posts by Cousin Craig—irreverent but funny. Very funny.