My Family Oddities

My Families Oddities

  1. My mother always travels with at least one Doberman and her gun, yet my dad admonishes her to be careful.
  2. A cousin traveled to Granddaddy Tigner’s funeral and was distraught when he could not find his suit.  At the open casket funeral, the suit was found … Granddaddy was being buried in it.
  3. Auntie Jillie has over seventy witches hanging in her home. We can’t help but ask her which witch she likes best.
  4. Uncle Mike visited Chicago in January and felt the need to open a window for fresh air.  He fell asleep and later woke up complaining because it was so damn cold.
  5. My dad, a member of the Audubon Society, traveled the United States for 30 years looking for a specific kind of wild chicken. He found it
  6. Uncle Frank, married to Aunt Jill, convinced us all that a ceiling fan left on while no one was home might fall on top of the bed, get caught in the sheets, and set the house on fire.  He did not seem to be concerned when we slept under the spinning ceiling fan, though.
  7. Some of the family did not vote for Barak Obama.
  8. My mother, made me delete #8. Oddly enough some things never change, but if I take it out–Cousin Carla will become #11 and she does not like odd numbers….so you are stuck wondering what #8 really was about.
  9. Grandmother (Tutu), while playing bridge, looked out the window and noticed the garage was in flames, but waited to call the fire department until after she had played her bridge hand. It was a really good hand.
  10. Grandfather (Papa) would pretend he was going to answer the phone by moving his feet up and down and yelling, “I’ll get it!”
  11. My mother and her brother Mike passed a can of sardines back and forth through the mail for over 20 years.  The sardines had been to more places (with the help of friends) than either my mother or her brother.
  12. Cousin Carla recently wanted to bring some loose chips back to her hotel room after a Gala affair, so she used her $2,000 Chanel purse as a doggie bag.
  13. Cousin Craig generously sends flowers to his family but always signs another person’s name to the card.
  14. Aunt Judy married into odd, and after 50 plus years, still professes to love us all.
  15. Aunt Florianna loved to take showers on the front lawn. She was not quite right, but we loved her and she was very clean.
  16. Cousin Kellyand Uncle Mike love to mow the grass.
  17. We all count silently when we are anxious.  Handy, if you ever need a sterling silver count after a party.
  18. Aunt Mimi sprinkled at least a tablespoon of sugar on her vegetables before she ate them.
  19. If we like something belonging to another family member, we ask without hesitation if we can have it when they die-always assuming they will die first
  20. If we find a really funny card, we will send it to one another without signing our names.  This means, of course, that the card can be sent on to someone else.
  21. On one very long road trip, my dad made up a song about an alligator that had eaten me and then got diarrhea.  I was flattered.
  22. My husband, Joe, often shouts out in the middle of the night, “WHERE IS IT?!” And, of course, I shout right back, “Well, where did you PUT IT!”
  23. 22% of our small, immediate family has the same first name. Two of those family members are in-laws.
  24. Speaking of first names, my mom and her sister refuse to spell the names of one another’s first-born children correctly.
  25. Cousin Molly has a Mary Poppins complex…firmly believing she is not odd…but practically perfect in every way.
  26. My parents kept me in line when I was little with stories about my “other” bad sister who they had to drown because she was very naughty. I found this fascinating.

Glad you were in my Odd neighborhood. Feel free to drop by any time. Odd Loves Company and odd loves you and you and you!! I would love to hear from you in the comment section of this blog, or on Facebook or Twitter!

4 thoughts on “My Family Oddities

  1. Okay, just to make me seem a little less odd about #12 (btw, thanks for making me an even number, I couldn’t have taken it if I was “odd”), I feel the need to point out that there was alcohol involved. In fact there was LOTS of alcohol involved. Also, I was practically starving because the cocktail hour went on much longer than an hour and dinner was no where in sight. As we all know, you have to starve yourself to get into those formal dresses anyway and when potato chips appeared I had no idea when the next sign of food would appear. It my dreamy watermelon induced haze I had the foresight to realize I had the perfect container right under my arm. That way I could discreetly take a chip while pretending to go for the lip gloss. I was also the most popular person at the party when another guest smelled the tell-tale chip stench on my breath and found out I had food on me. It was only the next day that putting loose potato chips into my Channel evening bag seemed like it might have been a bad idea, or even a bit odd . . . but I feel certain that Coco would understand!

  2. I can’t believe you removed #8 about the Bird. He is certainly the oddest one of us now but he gets no mention. How can this be!?

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