Chocolate! What Chocolate?

It arrived!! Our Valentine’s Day candy! My sister-in-law delivered it for Joe’s older brother Bob when her family picked Cole up to go skiing. As Cole was dashing off, he yelled back over his shoulder, “Mom, leave some chocolate for me!”  Don’t you hate kids sometimes?

This year’s Valentine’s box is so pretty! It just oozes pretty.  The candy inside oozes delicious. If you were here, I would share a piece with you! Really. You aren’t all going to show up now, are you?

As Forrest Gump shared with us “Life is like a box of chocolates . . . you never know what you’re gonna get.” So true; but when I chose to marry a man whose brother makes chocolates, I think I got pretty darn lucky!

Do you want me to tell you the chocolate story again?  OK. Since you asked so nicely, I will.

The first Easter after Cole was born, Bob gave us an amazing assortment of chocolates, all packaged in a beautiful Easter Basket – very fancy! Cole was just a few weeks old, and I had a chocolate imbalance. Joe went to work and I ate almost every single piece of chocolate in that basket, completely inhaling the fruit-covered chocolates, and any chocolate with a hidden nut inside. Joe came home and wandered around the kitchen wondering where I put “Bobby’s chocolate.”

“Well, I ate the chocolate.”

“All of it?”

“Well most of it.”

“Katybeth. How could you possibly have eaten all the chocolate?”

“Well, it all started with the first piece I popped into my mouth.”

“All of it? You ate all the chocolate?!”

“Ok, you caught me. There are a couple chocolate cherries left, and honey, they are all yours … well, maybe just give me one.”

Cole was nursing at the time, and can I just say he did not sleep again for five years.

We won’t talk about the year Moose, my glorious Red Doberman, ate half the Christmas chocolates, because … well, we just won’t. I will say that the rumors about dogs dying from eating chocolate may, in fact, have nothing to do with the chocolate.

According to Joe, I once gave our Valentine’s Day chocolate to Maria, our cleaning lady. This is not entirely true. It was an Español misunderstanding. I offered Maria a piece of chocolate – at least I thought I did – and then we left for the day. When we arrived home, the chocolate was missing. I did not give it much thought because, as the years in our relationship accumulated, Joe often hid Bob’s chocolate and Lay’s potato chips from me. When Joe asked the “Where’s the chocolate?” question, I was genuinely surprised, but quickly moved to a defensive position, answering back with my own question, “What did you do with it?”

Joe flashed back, “Katybeth, which dog ate the chocolate?”

“Joe, the chocolate was here this morning, and the dogs were up when we left. Did you hide it?”

To which he answered, “Did you eat it all?”

We then jointly yelled, “Cole!”

Nobody had seen the chocolate. Nobody had eaten the chocolate. Our chocolate was MISSING!

“Oh no! I know what happened. Some no good, bad-ass varmint had stolen our chocolate! Just our luck they went straight for the good stuff – Bob’s chocolate.”

Joe just looked at me and kept looking at me … and looking at me … and looking at me.

A few days later when Maria showed up, I asked her about the chocolates. Had she seen them, put them somewhere, noticed a suspicious chocolate varmint hanging around our house? She looked at me, puzzled for a moment and then smiled.

“Señora, ¡Muchas gracias. Mi familia quería que el chocolate. La caja era tan bonita. Gracias!”

Uh? Smiling big, she acted out how much her family had enjoyed all the chocolate I had given her. If Joe had not walked into the room during the part of the story where Maria was bringing her hands to her lips acting out how yummy the chocolate was, I would just have let the missing chocolates remain a mystery forever. I am my mother’s daughter. Joe smiled and nodded as Maria continued to bring her hands to her lips saying, “de chocolate muy buena,” and then he gave me a “I knew you gave the chocolate away” look.

Ok, so I gave Maria the chocolate. It was an honest mistake. Mistakes happen. Her family loved them. Does that make me a bad person? Joe was not consoled, even when I ran out and bought him a dozen marshmallow bunnies and a box of yellow peeps. He just kept walking around the house muttering, “She gave all the Easter candy away. All the Easter candy – gone.” I lived with this story until the day I gave all our laundry to Purple Heart.

You may be thinking Joe must certainly have earned his sainthood, but don’t get carried away. I am the woman who wrote down “movie star” as my spouse’s job on our insurance application.

Cole returns home from ski trip this evening but I’m just curious…..How would you answer this question, “Mom, have you seen Uncle Bobbie’s Chocolates.” Let me know in the comment section of Odd, just for research purposes, of-course. Odd Loves Company.


Bob also sent us a healthy box of peanuts with our box of chocolates. . .I guess he wanted to make sure when we felt like a nut…we were covered.

♥Valentine link Love ♥

Chocolate Valentine Day Cookies

An Ultimate Valentine’s Day Gift List

Simple Diane-– Diane likes Daisies and shares Fun Valentines Day trivia like, ” Americans will purchase around 58 million pounds of chocolate during Valentine’s Day.”

Longest kiss: The record for the longest kiss was achieved by James Belshaw and Sophia Severin (both UK) who kissed continuously for 31 hr 30 min 30 sec, in an event organized by PMW Communications, at the Plaza Shopping Centre, London, UK, on 6-7 July 2005.

22 thoughts on “Chocolate! What Chocolate?

  1. Cole didn’t sleep for 5 years ~ LMAO!
    Great story by a wonderful writer.
    I miss chocolate. I really, really miss chocolate. When you can’t eat sugar you become very aware of how much of life’s happy times center around candy and desserts.
    Enjoy! Do NOT save a piece for me. If I get desperate I can get sugar free “chocolate” covered almonds from Sun Harvest. They aren’t bad. Not as good as a HUGE chocolate bar but a good substitute.

    Happy Valentine’s Day.

    • Nope. My kid was not a if he could have his hands wrapped around my hair, so I had no chance to escape–we might sleep a few hours every night. I tried everything and then I surrendered. Now that he is a teen–revenge is sweet.
      Speaking of sweet…I’m sure changing your diet has not been easy. Good for you for finding alternatives like chocolate covered almonds!

      Happy Valentine’s Day.

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  3. That’s a lot of Houdini chocolate you’ve got going around!

    I think you should tell him that you sent the chocolate to Egypt; there’s a huge party going on over there, you know. 🙂

  4. Tell him you went out of the streets and looked for all the poor people who you knew were not going to get any chocolate, so you gave them each a piece. In fact you not only gave them a piece, you gave them a piece in his name. If he believe’s you someone exchanged your son for another boy!

  5. Wow…you guys are lucky to have a chocolate-maker in the family!

    We live an hour-and-a-half from Canada’s oldest candy company, Ganong Bros. Ltd. (established 1873). Ganong invented and sold North America’s first 5-cent chocolate nut bar in 1910. In 1932, they were the first in Canada to sell Valentine heart boxes.

    I like Marcie’s idea for what to tell Cole…

    Happy Valentine’s Day, Katybeth!


  6. As a self confessed chocoholic, I loved this story. I related and experienced every one of these things, except the incident with Maria (I don’t think I would have had any left to offer her one 🙂 )
    A great smile as I was reading this – thanks so much, and keep enjoying those wonderful tasty morsels

  7. I don’t think my wife would leave me…but she might if there was a chocolate shop involved. Hmmm…you have me thinking now.

    I know exactly what you mean about things disappearing ‘one at a time’ – I do the same thing with cookies. First there is a whole box and then, magically, I find only a couple left. At that point I offer the kids a cookie each and put what is left into the cookie jar. That way I can legitimately claim that is wasn’t just me. See – there are advantages to kids after all 😀

  8. You could repeat the I offered someone some and they thought I gave the candy to them. It worked when he was a baby, maybe he will fall for it again. Or go get some boxed chocolate and put it in the box and keep him distracted while he eats it. Swear it is the best chocolate that your Brother in law has made. 😀

  9. What type of candy is this where can I get some? I only like nuts with caramel, Nuts of any kind with chocolate. Not fond of creams.

    • Joe’s older Bob makes candy as a serious hobby. Plenty of nuts, some carmel. All of it beautiful and very good! I would be happy to share a piece or maybe two if you dropped by….

  10. I think it would make whatever story you choose to use more credible if all the chocolate covered cherries were gone. Perhaps they could be shipped south to someone who would briefly give them a good home.

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